What makes a Mommy a Mommy-type? What makes a Daddy a Daddy-type?
How do I know if I'm a Daddy Dom, Mommy Dom, or Caregiver type?
- The drive to guide, nurture, and protect.
- Happiness from cherishing their partner's uniqueness and childish personality.
- The ultimate desire to "take care of" their partner.
- Common romantic view: the "need to be needed" excessively, beyond that of the average relationship. More than simply being the main or sole bread winner. A desired codependency. Perhaps for typical non-CGL persons, this codependency sought would be considered extreme or "unhealthy".
A mother's love is the strongest form of love. It is impenetrable. She is most caring and gentle with her children, wanting to sacrifice her own time for their joy and personal growth. She tends to their smallest of needs, concerns, wounds, and unhappy feelings. Her eyes light up bright when her little one smiles excitedly, and those times they mumble out, "I love you, Mommy."
A mother's guidance is well describe as a Mother Knows Best Persuasion where she gently brings her child into the best life they can lead. A Caregiver/little example may be something like...
"Aww, no, Sweetie! You're much, much too little to be wearing big boy undies. Here, let Mommy put on a nice, cozy diaper for your bottom. My baby boy wants to be cozy, cozy, doesn't he?
A father's devotion is intense. He is the kind protector, ready to take on the world to protect his little one's heart, body, and soul. He is most gentle to his little one, but strong and confident to the outside world. He lowers his walls to help his little one learn and experience the world safely.
A father's strength is a watchful eye that's ready to step in and take charge. It's where he brings his child to the best life they can lead in the most nurturing environment. A Caregiver/little example of this may be something like...
"Oh, Little One, no-no. You may accidentally burn your hand if you try to make a big girl meal on the stove. Little girls don't play with the hot stove. It would make Daddy so sad to see you get a burn ouchie. Let Daddy help you make you some healthy yummies.
Mommies, Daddies, and More
Good parents love their children beyond words. They do what is best for the child, and sacrifice themselves in ways to give their children more than what they have had.
Much like a parent, a Caregiver-type (Mommy, Daddy, or other name-choice identifying as this type
) should display the above qualities. Mommies should also be protective, and Daddies should also offer plenty of guidance so these roles are interchangeable, being categorized as Caregivers. They want to see their partner succeed in life and be happy. They want to be heavily involved in their lives and take extra time to care about even the smallest of troubles. They want to be the person to uplift them and cheer them on with their interests--even if it's just successfully coloring a difficult coloring page! They take pride in their partner and feel valuable when providing extra attention.
- Want to help their partner make decisions for their partner's own health and safety
- Want to take care of some or all of their partner's basic needs
- Want to help take some control over and lead aspects of their partner's life, day, or time together
Caregivers do not:
- Are comfortable in the leadership position
- Are comfortable with self-sacrificing for the happiness, health, and benefit of their partner
- Are happy to be a steady rock to lean on, trust, and turn to
- Want to hurt, abuse, or mistreat their partner
- Force their partner into situations that make their partner unhappy, unsatisfied, hurt, or scared
- Take away their partner's personal control completely without their partner desiring and consenting to such a lifestyle choice
Caregivers are Humans
- Partners who listen to the needs of their partner and are well matched to little personalities
- Adults who are comfortable with responsibilities and adult situations
- People who are overly nurturing in nature (reflected through their natural personality)
There is often the general idea that Caregiver personality types are superhuman or godlike. This is a misconception and is wrong. Caregivers may have mental illness, learning disorders, physical limitations, and anything else that any other human on the planet may experience. Caregivers may still suffer from depression, anxiety, personal insecurities, or general stress (even from their workplace). Being human doesn't mean someone cannot properly care for someone else.
If you're a little then know that it's very important to get to know your Caregiver so that you know how to help them in return for helping to take care of you.
Caregivers are not...
Common Caregiver Names:
- ...Perfect. They have their own flaws too! Love them anyway.
- ...Superheroes. Sometimes they need help too! Give them a helping hand sometimes.
- ...Invincible. Ouchies, boo-boos, and general injuries do still hurt! Don't make them suffer quietly or alone.
BDSM and Dominant/submissive (D/s) roles
- Mommy (variants such as Momma, Mama, ...)
- Daddy (variants such as Papa, Dada, ...)
- Aunt (or Auntie)
- Big Brother (though often indicating "switch" personalities; switches are a mixture of both a Caregiver and a little at varying times)
- Big Sister (though often indicating "switch" personalities; switches are a mixture of both a Caregiver and a little at varying times)
As you may come to realize, these things listed above are not of the typical BDSM realm. These common personality traits of the Caregiver-type do not describe that world or the connections that fall in that space. While private intimacy may be a part of these adult connections, it does not need to involve a powerplay or a BDSM dynamic where one person is the hard "dominant" wanting to take control and use their authority to hurt, abuse, degrade, humiliate, beat, or otherwise use their "submissive" counterpart.
It can be argued well that the Caregiver personality may be more self-sacrificing and viewed as having more submissive traits while still being comfortable, responsible leaders. While individual, personal adult interests and kinks may involve our interactions together, we do not feel that these aspects or powerplay (traditional dominance and submission roles and stereotypes
) are necessary to identifying within the Caregiver/Little, CGL, community.
- You do not need to be "dominant" to be a Caregiver
- You do not need to be "submissive" to be a Caregiver
- You do not need to want to be in a "powerplay" dynamic to have a healthy relationship as a Caregiver
- You do not need to be highly sexual, sexually driven, or even sexual at all to identify as a Caregiver
- You do not need to be interested in traditional BDSM or kinks to be a Caregiver
Answering questions like: Am I A Little? Is breastmilk dangerous for littles to drink? What is my little age? How do I tell someone about being a little? How do I make a little smile every day?