Littles and self-harm rules? Self-harm aftercare?

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Littles and self-harm rules? Self-harm aftercare?

Postby bunnny » 6 days ago

I'm a little who actively self harms and I wondered what you (littles) do when you feel that way.
Do you and your bigs have rules?

Bigs, what do you do?

Is there any advice on how to help a little who self-harms? Any "aftercare" routines ?

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Re: Littles and self-harm rules? Self-harm aftercare?

Postby PrettyLittlePixie » 5 days ago

I have self harmed for 11-12 years. I don't think I'd allow a rule on my self harm besides the unspoken one of him obviously not wanting me to do it. It is my coping mechanism, and it is up to me to find a more healthy one and resist that urge. You can't put your mental health in someone else's hands. If you are only not cutting because it's against the rules, you'll be left floundering if something happened between you two.

The only aftercare I like from him is lots of cuddles, kind words and forehead kisses. I always care for the wound itself alone. One time after a particularly bad one I had to yell for him to help me and he helped me clean it and bandage it since I wouldn't get stitches. I did feel very close to him in that moment, but it was traumatic for both of us. I don't want him to see me like that again.

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Re: Littles and self-harm rules? Self-harm aftercare?

Postby littleryry » 5 days ago

For us the rule is worded to ask the other to talk first - to encourage us to rely on each other. For me, I ask permission to if talking doesn't resolve it. For him, he's trying to not actively because he knows it hurts me when he does. If one of us does self harm we talk over what led to it with lots and lots of reassurance that it doesn't change how we feel and it doesn't make us love the other any less.

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