- 7 years ago
#27604
My story begins a year ago. during the realization that i was in a bad relationship with a woman who did not understand me, she went to work, i stayed home and tried my best to keep things in order. it didn't help that pressure on all sides from my family and hers to better myself in some way, i . e pay rent and chip in and all that was, at the time overwhelming.. so i found escapsism. through roleplay or whatever else i could sink my teeth into. i totter around from site to sight until i find something that is comfortable. and i start writing with one partner in particular. we hit it off.
we hit it off big time.
we start writing things are a blast. tearing through the plot like it's paper. conjuring new and exciting ideas and then, one day.
i say it. "i have a strong feeling of connection with you"
she responded in kind. we get to talking, we get to talking about everything hopes dreams fears flaws bad relationships, better things daydreams everything. I have never felt so important in my life. then she tells me, she tells me she has a boyfriend.
i stick with her as best i can. we still RP our feelings still growing stronger, and to this day i still have them. and i don't know what to do.
i love her with all of my heart, but they're trying to make things work, and i'm trying not to make things worse and i'm trying not to blame myself or feel bad for having feelings that are vallid like all emotions. i am depressed because we made plans to meet. we made plans to be together as living breathing beings, in the flesh. and i was going to see her world. the sad truth of mine is i do not let many a person in, after what had happened to me.
she was my little girl.
my starshine.
my determination.
and i fear i may have lost her.. and in doing so i have lost myself.
we hit it off big time.
we start writing things are a blast. tearing through the plot like it's paper. conjuring new and exciting ideas and then, one day.
i say it. "i have a strong feeling of connection with you"
she responded in kind. we get to talking, we get to talking about everything hopes dreams fears flaws bad relationships, better things daydreams everything. I have never felt so important in my life. then she tells me, she tells me she has a boyfriend.
i stick with her as best i can. we still RP our feelings still growing stronger, and to this day i still have them. and i don't know what to do.
i love her with all of my heart, but they're trying to make things work, and i'm trying not to make things worse and i'm trying not to blame myself or feel bad for having feelings that are vallid like all emotions. i am depressed because we made plans to meet. we made plans to be together as living breathing beings, in the flesh. and i was going to see her world. the sad truth of mine is i do not let many a person in, after what had happened to me.
she was my little girl.
my starshine.
my determination.
and i fear i may have lost her.. and in doing so i have lost myself.