I know, ive been in that situation myself for years in a row. It's important to be surrounded by loving people (who may be firm at times), but who mainly support you. And especially to eliminate those in your life that are just not helpful or make you feel negative. In a time like this, you have to see this as an opportunity: You are at a very low point of yourself, and you will learn a lot about who you are. Time to get to know yourself and become your own best friend!
The second thing that helped me a huuuuge lot, is to learn to relativate things. As soon as a thought is not helpful or productive, go for the relativation route. "I did not get out of bed today before 6pm, my whole day/week/life is ruined" -> not a productive thought -> relativation "yeah maybe I didn't get out of bed but in the grand scheme of things I have already chosen deliberately in the past to have a cozy stay-in-bed day and it was fun, plus if i can get up now I achieved that!" (or anything that applies to you and your life
The suicide thougths: Two things: First, realize that this is just a fraction of a moment during the entire course of your life. You've had good moments (however small and pointless they may seem now), and I can guarantee you that you will live many many more beautiful moments in your life. So basically, such periods, they are like a virus of the mind: We know it's there, there's no cure for it, but we CAN treat the symptoms. And for the rest, we have to just "wait it out".
You have two sides in you: The unhelpful depressed side: It's there, and it's important to give credit to its existance. But don't dwell on it. It's only important to credit its existance so that you can make friends with it.
And then, there's the real you, who can't live their life right now they way they want to, because the evil depression-you is blocking the way.
Key: Make friends and learn to live with each other.
There are things that will make your depression want to cooperate with the real you. And that's your goal. See it as a mission of friendship between these two sides: You're now going to take the time to figure out what makes the depression-you worse (as in, no more cooperation between the real you and depression-you) and avoid doing those things, while also finding things that make cooperation more possible.
For me, what was helpful was seeing the light wherever i could. Yes, I got up at 6pm -> Which was still in time before the grocery store closes.
Yes, I ate only one apple during the whole day -> It was healthy and sweet!
Yes, I did get yelled at by a friend -> Maybe I just discovered an unhealthy relationship and I will now free myself of it. (I freed myself off of a LOT of unhelpful friends during that time. Two key things I found out: You are NOT alone. You are having yourself, and "losing" or quitting friendships is NOT the end of being social, it is the BEGINNING of discovering new friendships, and being more free to find these new people that ARE good for me!
It's likely you've already seen this vid, but in any case maybe it will be helpful/calming to you to watch it again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc
Do realize that you are NOT ALONE
And also, it's great that you are talking about it and "sick of it" and just wanna share your "desperate" situation to find others to talk with. That is the BIGGEST AWESOMEST thing you have done, probably not just today, but also this week, month, year, in short, your WHOLE LIFE!! Because with this step, you have publicly told yourself, YES, I am ready for chance, YES, I am ready to face this stupid depression and HELP MYSELF!
Reward yourself for this, reward yourself for helping yourself get back on track, however small this help may be.
Hope this helped,
Greetings,
Rosetta
- By princejayjay
- By Yori
- By LilBeth
- By Babe