[babyderek2014]

help me please someone help

i have been abandoned by my daddy and feel so alone like i will never find anyone.
i just do not know what to do anymore it feels like there is a huge piece of me missing and it brings out my depression and i feel as if there will never be another like my daddy but i just need advice on how to deal with this problem

any advice is appreciated

[LittleRedDrake]

Not to make you sound like a baby but have you considered some self soothing for a bit. Curl up with your favorite stuffy, snack maybe even TV show or book. It all depends on what you feal up to. Basicly try some you time.

Other then that try not to be too impatient looking for or choosing a new daddy too quickly can lead to emotional responses you may regret later. By all means go out with friends and get back out there but just have patience that there is an even better daddy out there for you and this is your chance to become an even better you while you look for him.

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[LoremIpsum]

This is quite late, but I'm hoping you're feeling better than you were right after the break up. Normal break ups are rough, but the extra element of vulnerability in a caregiver/little relationship can make separations especially savage.

What helped me was giving myself permission to feel shattered, and to grieve. Trying to make all the bad feelings stop is impossible, and when I failed at stopping them, that just made me feel worse. It sounds counter-intuitive, but accepting that I was hurting so much that it literally hurt to breathe made the pain easier to carry.

That said, you don't have to accept negative thoughts as truth, despite what your brain wants you to believe. I had these in two main categories, lies about myself and lies about my ex-partner. Lies about yourself are along the lines of not being good enough, being flawed, being unlovable. I basically flagged these thoughts in my head by asking myself, "if someone else said this to me, or I said it to someone I cared about, would that be abusive behavior?" If you wouldn't say these things to a friend, then try to treat yourself with the same courtesy and compassion.

Lies about my ex generally took the form of putting them on a pedestal. I was remembering all the good things and not making sure to remember that they were human. I made excuses for them hurting me and tried to avoid putting any blame on them, but that just meant that I wound up putting blame on me. Eventually (and I mean it took a long time), I was able to process the relationship in a way that allowed me to accept that this person I loved had done some awful things.

Another thing that helped was realizing that the relationship as it was, was gone. Desperately wanting to get back together wouldn't magically erase the damage that had occured. That helped ease the longing until I was able to separate the desire for that particular person from the desire for a relationship with a Caregiver. The glow that you got from your relationship with your daddy isn't lost forever, there are still people in the world who can step up and fill that role.

If you can, talk with friends. If you can, you might want to see a therapist (they can do short term counseling to help you process trauma). Don't set yourself a time table for feeling better. Some days will be harder, some will be easier. I got myself a ring that said, "This, too, shall pass."

I hope you're doing better, and that you're being kind to yourself.