- 8 years ago
#13148
I had a bad and sad day yesterday. I posted about it here:
http://www.littlespaceonline.com/viewto ... =25&t=5815
I just got so filled with sorrow and sadness for all the unhappy and hurting, especially young, people and how they sometimes even choose to end their lives. While still very young. I even experienced one suicide over Skype that was one of the most horrible things I've ever experienced. That girl made a mark upon my soul that I will always carry with me. And I don't even know her given name as she only used a name of her own choosing. So I carry her, a strangers, mark on my soul forever. And even though it hurts me I will always remember her because she deserves to be remembered. And I will do it proudly. And somehow I would like her to have known that. How she meant something. And that, even if no one else does, I will remember her.
And today I got an idea that I just can't shake, and I wanted to run it by you all. I thought that if somehow I could make some kind of bond, a visible connection, even if it's to a stranger, that's solid and true and something that will physically stay with me forever, and I can show them and prove it to them, maybe I can make a difference for someone who's close to giving up or just need to feel a connection to someone. And if I'm not, well I'll make sure they won't be forgotten for as long as I live.
So my idea is basically to offer them a piece of my body to make their mark on. Write their name and maybe a few of their own words in ink. Or have them draw something that I will then get tattooed. Tattoos are something that I love and not something I take lightly. I have a few and they all mean a lot to me. Getting a new one is always on my mind but I can never decide as I want it to be special. So each and every tattoo will mean a lot to me. And I want these to be hand tapped with no machine to make the process more special and to cost me more in terms of time and pain. All to prove to the person that they are worth it. Even to me me, a stranger.
I have a few questions or thoughts though. I don't want this to come across as either morbid or twisted in any way or that I'm doing it for some selfish or artsy fartsy reason. Secondly I don't want to start cruising forums and chat rooms looking for depressed or suicidal candidates. So I don't really know how to even initiate a first contact or put myself out there. Thirdly, I'm thinking this has to be done anonymously from both sides. I'm not looking to be a shrink or to start being an online friend to everyone. That I could never manage. I will listen to their story and make room on my skin for them. That will be all. And I will make room for people under 18 if they contact me (will this be a potential problem do you think?). I look at it sort of as a confession booth where they tell me about themselves, and then just write their first name and maybe a couple of words in their own handwriting which I will then copy to my skin. I will then send them confirmation pics when it's done and maybe even publish them on a blog or something, just to make it more important and official...
So, my question I guess is, does this come across as weird, twisted, morbid, counter productive, in any way? Sometimes you can't see how your ideas will come across or be perceived to others and I don't want it to be perceived as any of the above. That is not my intent in any way. And as this will be a process that won't happen overnight I'm thinking that it won't be used in emergencies or as suicide notes. My hope is to make a strong connection with someone that I won't necessarily have to know much about. From their heart to my heart, human to human, no details or social security numbers necessary. And maybe that will make a difference to someone. But if it happens to be their last written words to anyone I will wear them just as proudly.
/K
http://www.littlespaceonline.com/viewto ... =25&t=5815
I just got so filled with sorrow and sadness for all the unhappy and hurting, especially young, people and how they sometimes even choose to end their lives. While still very young. I even experienced one suicide over Skype that was one of the most horrible things I've ever experienced. That girl made a mark upon my soul that I will always carry with me. And I don't even know her given name as she only used a name of her own choosing. So I carry her, a strangers, mark on my soul forever. And even though it hurts me I will always remember her because she deserves to be remembered. And I will do it proudly. And somehow I would like her to have known that. How she meant something. And that, even if no one else does, I will remember her.
And today I got an idea that I just can't shake, and I wanted to run it by you all. I thought that if somehow I could make some kind of bond, a visible connection, even if it's to a stranger, that's solid and true and something that will physically stay with me forever, and I can show them and prove it to them, maybe I can make a difference for someone who's close to giving up or just need to feel a connection to someone. And if I'm not, well I'll make sure they won't be forgotten for as long as I live.
So my idea is basically to offer them a piece of my body to make their mark on. Write their name and maybe a few of their own words in ink. Or have them draw something that I will then get tattooed. Tattoos are something that I love and not something I take lightly. I have a few and they all mean a lot to me. Getting a new one is always on my mind but I can never decide as I want it to be special. So each and every tattoo will mean a lot to me. And I want these to be hand tapped with no machine to make the process more special and to cost me more in terms of time and pain. All to prove to the person that they are worth it. Even to me me, a stranger.
I have a few questions or thoughts though. I don't want this to come across as either morbid or twisted in any way or that I'm doing it for some selfish or artsy fartsy reason. Secondly I don't want to start cruising forums and chat rooms looking for depressed or suicidal candidates. So I don't really know how to even initiate a first contact or put myself out there. Thirdly, I'm thinking this has to be done anonymously from both sides. I'm not looking to be a shrink or to start being an online friend to everyone. That I could never manage. I will listen to their story and make room on my skin for them. That will be all. And I will make room for people under 18 if they contact me (will this be a potential problem do you think?). I look at it sort of as a confession booth where they tell me about themselves, and then just write their first name and maybe a couple of words in their own handwriting which I will then copy to my skin. I will then send them confirmation pics when it's done and maybe even publish them on a blog or something, just to make it more important and official...
So, my question I guess is, does this come across as weird, twisted, morbid, counter productive, in any way? Sometimes you can't see how your ideas will come across or be perceived to others and I don't want it to be perceived as any of the above. That is not my intent in any way. And as this will be a process that won't happen overnight I'm thinking that it won't be used in emergencies or as suicide notes. My hope is to make a strong connection with someone that I won't necessarily have to know much about. From their heart to my heart, human to human, no details or social security numbers necessary. And maybe that will make a difference to someone. But if it happens to be their last written words to anyone I will wear them just as proudly.
/K