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By Deleted User 56682
#54251
So I'm writing this just to express myself in case I don't get the chance to later. Maybe someone can relate, maybe it can help someone in future.

I found out I was a little a few years ago. It was great! Everyone I talked to online seemed so supportive & sweet. I'd found a peice of me that felt like it belonged without having to be told i did by anyone else. It was a gentle space I carved out for myself in the chaos that was my life. A place where I didn't need to have all the answers or feel pressure to be anything other than my cute self. I started talking to a few people online & one person in particular (maybe, I don't know)

Here's where the story gets scary. I was in an awkward place in my life & I was surrounded by people who didn't think very well of me. I'd run out money because I quit my job& that meant I couldn't afford to be online & chat to people or go out with people or do anything really, so I cut ties & burnt a few bridges.

Then the cyberbullying began. Someone/s was making me the center of their conversations. Someone/s was invading my privacy & gaslighting me. Someone/s was trying to make me feel like crap & that I deserved their horrible treatment. But worse lf all someone/s almost succeeded in making me feel like my littlespace was gross, disgusting and worthy of punishment. It was disturbing to the core, on top of the other painful experiences I was having in the real world with my "family" & former friends.

But I realised that all that horror wasn't cg/l. Cyberbullying, gaslighting, an invasion of privacy - yes. Cg/l - no. I'd only just started exploring my littlespace back then & honestly there's no way I could possibly do that now, not only because of this awful experience but also because I don't feel safe enough to even try.

I won't forget how happy I was when I first started though. I won't forget that feeling of sweetness, comfort or being understood. I won't forget how good it felt for a moment to be vulnerable & not freak out about it constantly.

But I will say be careful of who you talk to on the internet. Don't just believe that everyone is good because there are some who aren't and will try to make you pay for their troubles. Also, try to keep your little side safe from others as much as you can. It really is a precious gift that can be devastating to lose, even for a little while.

I'm writing this because I might never get a chance to tell anyone irl and because it might help someone else avoid the traps I got caught up in. Bleeeeh. I hope I turn into a zombie & bite the people who caused me grief lol.
By Deleted User 56682
#54721
Thank you for the encouragement, I really appreciate it! But if I'm being honest, I really could have been more cautious instead of throwing myself into things. I'd still bite them if I were a zombie though. :derp:
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