[Little-Rosie]

What is wrong with me every time i get close to having a cg the abandon me is there something im doing wrong or is it just no one wants me

[PrincessArielM]

Sorry to hear you're having tough luck finding a CG. It's like the saying goes, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince(ss)!"

Maybe try waiting a little longer before getting closer to them? If they are truly in it for the long haul it won't bother them. ((hugs))


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[Miss]

try waiting a little longer before getting closer

This.

This. This. This.

Are you making them try to get closer to you? Are you really getting to know who they are--not WHAT they are? Are you having long, in-depth, and personal conversations with them so often that you feel like you're best friends before you two even move to the next stage into the Caregiver/little labels?

Make them work to have you and then give them the big payoff of being their little. Make them want you, chase you, and desire YOU. Not what you are but WHO you are. Not what you can offer but WHO you are. Not what you like but WHO YOU ARE.

I would also be careful of things like your signature -- are you saying things like, "Mwe wuv chu," ("I love you") without them having to earn that care? If so, why? Why are you throwing away that specialness so easily?

It's going to take days, weeks, and sometimes months to actually make it to the "relationship" label part. It is never going to take seconds, minutes, or hours--if it does then expect it to fizzle out just as quickly as it lit up. It isn't genuine love or care if you're meeting someone two hours before "falling in love" and devoting yourself to them because, honestly, you don't even know them yet.

I'm not saying that you are doing all of the things I've listed above but I'm looking through your posts and it feels like maybe you might be a little desperate. A lot of us have that desperation so I'm not saying you're bad for feeling lonely, but I am saying that you may not be guarding your heart as much as you should be. Really sit down and evaluate how you're going about all of this and try to make some--probably major--changes in your attitude and conversations you're having.

You are the only person that can protect yourself in these situations. Don't let your guard down because someone says they are good. Make them prove themselves worthy of your love, and make sure that you're equally as worthy of theirs.

Lastly, as just a reminder, not everyone you talk to is going to be a match for you and you need to keep that in mind. Just because someone is X and you are Y doesn't mean you two are automatically meant to be and should be together. For example, there a lot of straight brunette women who like men with blonde hair and of straight men with blonde hair who like women with brown hair but it doesn't mean that hair color and gender should be the only (or even primary) reasons people in those brackets should get together. That isn't a good foundation for a satisfying, healthy relationship. Ultimately, we are more (so much more) than just labels, titles, and names.

[PeppermintBatty]

The thing is, every relationship you get into is going to be different. Each time you get into a relationship (or in this case, get abandoned) you should be learning something new about what people want and how to be a proper partner. You're really kind of selling yourself when you're dating. So like, maybe your problem in this situation is that you're getting awfully wrapped up in people before they have a chance to get wrapped up in you. Why do I say this? Because abandonment is common when the cost of continuing the relationship overwhelms the ability for either party to deal with it.

So maybe you're making this person into your mommy/daddy before they're even invested in actually caring for you? Maybe you both feel the initial high of the CG/L relationship, but then the caretaker has the immediate crash of having to have the responsibility of a CG/L relationship without being able to feel like the other partner is actually giving them anything in return.

For me, the problem I had when getting closed to caretakers was a lack of seriousness. I was rather flippant about the things I wanted/needed. And, as such, most caretakers I courted felt like they were unneeded in my life. When you realize you're making a mistake, it falls on you to correct it so that you can be worthy of love. When you and your caretaker fight, because you will fight, it falls on both of you to work things out so that you can both continue to be happy with each other. The fact that your partner ran away may intone that you hadn't even reached a level where the partner would be even interested in working things out with you.

Dating takes a long time. It took many months before I asked my partner to be my daddy. It took weeks and weeks of dating and months of preparation before hand (because often you aren't even in a position where the other person has even noticed you) before I was able to court my mommy with any chance of success. These things take time because this is the person you intend to spend most of your life with. You will be with them every day, perhaps for the rest of your life. If they get in trouble, you are the one that will bail them out. I have spent a small fortune on both my daddy and my wife, and I will probably spend even more on my mommy. If this isn't a person you're willing to invest both a ton of time, resources, and money into, why would you even continue? This is obviously the question your caretakers are asking themselves and their answer is to find someone more appealing.

This world is full of kiddos. It's full of kiddos and full of caretakers and if you don't meet your partners qualifications they will find someone better. For me, I stick out because I have a way with words, a penchant for cute, fluffysweet ideas, and an endless capacity to juggle my time. You should work on having qualities that someone would be interested in.