[gainfrompain]

I didn't exactly know where to post this so this seemed like the best place to post it, if not, a moderator is welcome to move it. I was first introduced to DDLG by a girl who messaged me on that one fet community website. I was a switch at the time and had no idea about the DDLG lifestyle until she messaged me. My little was super cute, well behaved, and had the best manners. We went out on a handful of dates at the park, she colored, I brought her some snacks at the park and we had a really fun time. Daddy made sure to pick up his little, place her in her car, and fasten her seat belt every single time with a kiss on her forehead for good luck. We also went on a movie date which was really fun. Daddy made sure to hold her hand across the dangerous streets and after the movie we would stay in the parking lot and fool around in her car. Flash back to a couple weeks later and I had mentioned that we would go to a haunted house + a movie on different days and I had mentioned that I would pay for the haunted house, and she would pay for the movies. We both agreed that was fine but after that she started acting really different. She had told me she got into a car accident on a Friday and after Friday we barely even talked. She told me that she was really sad, tired, and depressed because of school. So I shrugged that off and decided to leave her alone but when I was on my shift she decided to send me a snap. The snapchat was with her and another guy, maybe around the same age as her, and the caption wrote "he doesn't seem very pleased". Right after that snap she had wrote "oops wrong person" "we're at the new Sonic" and when I saw that my heart broke. I replied "rofl bye" and she said "ok", so what my question is, is daddy not paying for both the haunted house and the movies change her mind? How exactly does money work in a DDLG relationship? She didn't seem to have a problem splitting a room at a hotel, why all of a sudden would the haunted house + movie change her mind? I'd never expect her to pull this and I'm still hurting.

[Sweetling88]

Wow I'm sorry you went through something like this. It did seem like you guys were getting along great. Did you guys make a commitment to each other while you were going on these dates? Because of you didn't maybe she wasn't as involved in the relationship as you were. Not that that's an excuse for how she went about it. I don't think money was necessarily the issue and you didn't do anything wrong asking her to split with you especially if you've done it before.

Money is a touchy subject in any relationship but more so in one like this. It's unfair for a little to expect their daddy or mommy or cg to pay for everything all the time. Yes you want them to take care of you and make your decisions for you or whatever dynamic you may have with them but that doesn't mean you should be the only one contributing. A relationship is a relationship and both parties should be involved.

It was very immature of her to send you a picture of herself with another guy. And telling you from experience her sending it to you was not a mistake. She didn't want to end things the right way for whatever reason and probably felt that was the easier way. I'm sorry you're hurting and I'm sure you've heard it a million times but things do get better with time. You'll meet an amazing little that will be committed to only you and this will be in the past.

I hope I helped you.

[Miss]

When dating, I don't think that you should always be expected to pay for everything just because you are a _____.

It's like expecting all men to pay for everything at all times when dating women just because a man typically has a lollipop. It's kind of silly and outdated because, now, many women also have equally-paying jobs and are more than financially capable of spending some pay on leisure.

If you did not mutually agree that you, as a Caregiver to this person, would take all financial responsibility when it came to dates then I think you did the right thing to split up some costs occasionally. I can't imagine you advised her to pay for a very expensive meal while you paid for a very low-cost event. If you had done something like that then, sure, maybe she felt like there was an unacceptable imbalance and dropped the idea of pursuing something more with you.

I highly doubt that she chose to end the relationship because you asked her to pay for a date. I wouldn't try to focus on that at all. I don't think you did wrong with that.

I am kind of thinking what Sweetling88 says. Maybe she wasn't as involved in the relationship as you were at that point.

Did you two agree to be monogamous or was the situation still open, labelled as casually dating, for you both see other people without discussing it with the other? Sometimes people see "open" relationships as non-commitments.

"Over the course of 3 months I went on a few dates with this person who I seemed to have a strong connection with," is drastically different from, "I was in a committed relationship with this person for 3 months."

Maybe to her you two were casually seeing each other if you two never actually talked about it. Alternatively, maybe she felt like you two were progressing too slowly or not at all--nowadays it seems like a lot of submissives are anxious to receive collars to indicate serious long-term commitments. It's possible that she wanted things to get very serious very quickly but neglected to tell you that it was important to her (it happens; we're human) so ended up moving on to someone else who seemed more serious to her. I'm not saying that her actions were right, but I'm just throwing possibilities out at you to consider.

I do think she sounds immature and careless to end the relationship how she did. I doubt it was a true accidental Snap, but, even if it was, it's awfully cold to respond to someone's obvious hurt feelings with, "Ok," and leave it at that. That really shows how little care she had for you, in my opinion.

Perhaps there were red flags you will eventually see in the situation though. Here are some you can think about to help possibly lead to a more realistic answer as to why she dropped you so unexpectedly:

Did you ever go to her home? If not then was there a good, valid reason or was it sketchy (perhaps she already had a commitment)?

Was she able to devote a substantial amount of time and/or effort into the relationship or did you have to plan events far out to make sure she could commit to them even though she did not indicate any clear reason as to needing to have things well planned?

Did she have platonic, get-to-know-you conversation with you frequently or did it seem all scene-based / all sex-based? Ask yourself: did you really know who she was outside of liking to color, swing, and playfully be cutesy?

Did you ever meet any of her friends or family members? If not, was there a really good reason why you didn't?

Were you one-hundred percent certain she was older than 18? Many minors don't take DDLG relationships seriously because they still see them as fun games instead of serious commitments--they're just young and they're still psychologically maturing.

I would work on trying to shake this off and move on, up, and forward. Try to focus on learning and growing in the DDLG scene without requiring a partner. Read a lot, learn a lot, interact a lot as friends, and eventually you're going to bump into something really great for you. You're going to be okay and you'll get through these rough patches. I'm sure you're a wonderful person who will meet up with an equally wonderful person to establish a wonderful relationship together in time.

P.S. I really (really) don't recommend that one fet community website at all for initially establishing healthy dynamic-based relationships!

[gainfrompain]

Thank you for the kind words. I believe that I may have come on too strong with her and I had mentioned to her before that if I was going to be her daddy, that at some point I would have to date her as well. It just seemed really strange when I sent her a Snap and she looked really angry like I did something wrong in mostly all of them. We never fought for a month and I thought things were going great but apparently that wasn't the case.

I can answer off some of these questions Miss

Did you ever go to her home? If not then was there a good, valid reason or was it sketchy (perhaps she already had a commitment)?
No her parents didn't want her daughter bringing home a 27 year old when she's 18.

Was she able to devote a substantial amount of time and/or effort into the relationship or did you have to plan events far out to make sure she could commit to them even though she did not indicate any clear reason as to needing to have things well planned?
I planned out every event we did with the exception of the movie she picked out. At first she would always text me good morning text messages, and then I would be the first to send them in the morning, and eventually she just stopped sending me any messages until I texted her first.

Did she have platonic, get-to-know-you conversation with you frequently or did it seem all scene-based / all sex-based? Ask yourself: did you really know who she was outside of liking to color, swing, and playfully be cutesy?
To be honest, no. It was all about her. I don't even remember her asking anything about me

Did you ever meet any of her friends or family members? If not, was there a really good reason why you didn't?
I did not because of her real age.

Were you one-hundred percent certain she was older than 18? Many minors don't take DDLG relationships seriously because they still see them as fun games instead of serious commitments--they're just young and they're still psychologically maturing.
Yes I saw her ID. She's also still in High School and I knew what I was getting myself into before I got serious.

I guess it's better that it ended so soon because she'll be going to Canada for college next year so if I had still kept seeing her up until she left then I would feel 1000% more worse, but on the plus side she introduced me to the lifestyle so I can't stay mad at her I guess