[bABythespian]

Are most littles very selfish? Is being selfish a common little trait? Are Caregiver/little relationships likely to end due to selfish behavior? Is it normal for a Caregiver to literally be used and left many, many times by littles?

I've had a few littles over the past few years, and at the end of each relationship I find that we end due to their extreme selfishness. Here is just a few (granted, not all) in my past that seem to prove this idea:

1. My very first little was wonderful as we explored the MDLB dynamic together. It was all very passionate up until he chose to be passionate with other people and, oops, forgot to tell me. It was a messy break-up where I was blamed for causing him to supposedly crave relations so much (I was his first) that he was basically forced by his urges to cheat.
2. A long-distance little I matched well with seemed to connect with me on a lot of important personality aspects...at first. As time went on I realized that he just wanted to talk about relations. Every conversation wound up with him manipulating topics to lead to discussing getting sensual gratification, and when I brought up that I eventually felt emotionally and mentally neglected due to all of the physically intimate-stimulation-need on his end, and that there were so many more things I wanted to do with him, he proceeded to tell me what a worthless Caregiver I was for not wanting to interact sensually every time we communicated. He perceived my main duty as a Caregiver was to take care of his very, very high relations drive even when that was what was pushing me away and making me feel unhappy. He said relations made him feel loved and that I was failing to make him feel loved regardless of what made me feel loved.
3. I dated a little for awhile and eventually shared the same apartment with him. Everything was fine and he constantly remarked that he needed me the most in his life. While I don't hold it against him, when his health declined he chose to move to the other side of the U.S. to be closer to his family members. I do fault him for never having any conversation with me about it, and having surprised me with packed bags when I came from work one evening. He flew out that week and I never heard from him again despite the voicemail I left checking in with him. Ghosted, in a way.
4. One "monogamous" little accidentally forgot to tell me about her Daddy Dom. I bumped into him online when he was really concerned since she had ghosted him for a few days and he was messaging everyone online. I was really surprised because she gave full indications that her and I were "meant to be" together and I was preparing to fly to her in the upcoming month.
   When she "came back" from her "mental breakdown" that had supposedly hospitalized her for a couple of days she told me that the man was emotionally abusive and neglectful. She begged me to remain her Mommy Domme. Then about a week later she ghosted me for good. I look back and see she just wanted the extra attention from me.
5. I connected with a little who was motivated and up to be Mommy's little helper at all times. He told me all of the right things, and went in depth about his needs as being a completely submissive male in all aspects of his life. Funny enough, I caught him being a strict, sensual "Daddy Dom" to multiple underage middle-school girls through social media accounts. You know, he just accidentally forgot to tell me that underage girls didn't count if he dominated them online behind my back. I cannot even fathom the lack of morality the man had.
6. I moved to a new area and found a local AB/little purely by odd chance. We chatted through text and on the phone quite a bit, building up the suspense of meeting. We met and had a wonderful time. I treated him as a little, made him lunch, changed his diaper a couple of times, and snuggled him up on the couch to watch some cartoons. He seemed to be in bliss. Afterward, all he texted about was asking me to change his diaper again. We'd meet and cycle back through the exact same things. After 5 meetings like this, and his lack of conversation in between those interactions, I felt like we needed to do more to bring us closer. One day I suggested him and I go out and do something out-and-about vanilla-style together, like grab pizza or see a movie in the theatre. COMPLETELY GHOSTED!
7. I had a little who portrayed himself as innocent and obedient. We talked often and at length. I felt like I really had a firm grasp of who this person was in the world. We both seemed happy and he was just generally everything I was looking for at that time. He was the sweetest little angel who wanted nothing more than to just talk and hang out with his Mommy. Except for when he forgot to tell me he was going on vacation for two weeks, and then accidentally forgot to ever talk to me again. Forever ghosted! For the life of me I still cannot even think of a bad moment we shared much less a reason to abandon me.
8. Major health complications messed up a recent relationship...or so I thought. When I wasn't around as often as I preferred (I got to have a conversation with him once every 2-3 days on average for a few weeks at the height of my health issue) the little reassured me that he was happy and well with the situation as long as I was still his Mommy and continued to work on improving my health. He seemed so supportive and hopeful. When I broke things off with him out of pure guilt (but hopeful that it was only temporary, which I clearly told him) he outright slandered me in a chat room and claimed that he was unhappy throughout the entire relationship because I was never around and just an overall bad Caregiver. Somehow he forgot about my overwhelming health issue at that time and the words he said to me to reassure me about our relationship up until the literal moment I broke it off with him. He not once came to me with a complaint. After I saw what he said about me it was obvious he was attention-seeking and playing for sympathy at that point. He ghosted when I confronted him about my hurt feelings and let him know how disappointed I was about the entire thing.

Now, I've dated for years. I've dated at long-distance. I've dated locally. I've had long term relationships and very short relationships. I've had both monogamous and polyamorous partners. I've dated males and females.

I've never been ghosted like this in vanilla relationships though. I've never been absolutely discarded like I have when I've been romantically involved with a little. I've literally never had someone tell me how much they loved me and then two hours after breaking up tell an entire chat room full of people that they were already over me and that it wasn't a big deal at all. In vanilla relationships my partners had almost always portrayed themselves very accurately and honestly. In my CGL relationships my partners have never been honest about themselves and their intentions (not even the ones I didn't bother mentioning because those were generally so brief). I'm not sure what it all means, but I know I'm lugging around a lot of baggage now.

Are Caregivers the "givers" and littles the "takers" and that's it now? Have we devolved to that mentality?

I haven't had a vanilla relationship in a long time but I'm beginning to wonder if it's just easier for most Caregivers if they connect with someone who is vanilla first and slowly introduce them to the dynamic once the relationship is firmly established.

Do you feel like this is common behavior for most littles? Am I right to expect to be ghosted and betrayed?

With each failed Caregiver/little relationship attempt, I've made previous littles really work to gain my trust and heart more than the one that came before them. Now I feel like I'm asking them to jump through hoops to prove to me that they are genuine.

Do real, true, and long-term Caregiver/little relationships actually exist or is this all of us just messing around with each other for a few weeks before moving on to somebody new and, eventually, settling into something vanilla and perceived as real? Is Caregiver/little something that is really only temporary or only truly successful when two people have been together for a long time (or in a marriage arrangement)?

Wow. Just wow. Those littles I hope you have so much better luck with whomever is worthy of being your Little next; I'd wouldn't have thought there would be such selfishness in Littles :'(

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[bABythespian]

Are most littles very selfish? Is being selfish a common little trait? Are Caregiver/little relationships likely to end due to selfish behavior? Is it normal for a Caregiver to literally be used and left many, many times by littles?

I've had a few littles over the past few years, and at the end of each relationship I find that we end due to their extreme selfishness. Here is just a few (granted, not all) in my past that seem to prove this idea:

1. My very first little was wonderful as we explored the MDLB dynamic together. It was all very passionate up until he chose to be passionate with other people and, oops, forgot to tell me. It was a messy break-up where I was blamed for causing him to supposedly crave relations so much (I was his first) that he was basically forced by his urges to cheat.
2. A long-distance little I matched well with seemed to connect with me on a lot of important personality aspects...at first. As time went on I realized that he just wanted to talk about relations. Every conversation wound up with him manipulating topics to lead to discussing getting sensual gratification, and when I brought up that I eventually felt emotionally and mentally neglected due to all of the physically intimate-stimulation-need on his end, and that there were so many more things I wanted to do with him, he proceeded to tell me what a worthless Caregiver I was for not wanting to interact sensually every time we communicated. He perceived my main duty as a Caregiver was to take care of his very, very high relations drive even when that was what was pushing me away and making me feel unhappy. He said relations made him feel loved and that I was failing to make him feel loved regardless of what made me feel loved.
3. I dated a little for awhile and eventually shared the same apartment with him. Everything was fine and he constantly remarked that he needed me the most in his life. While I don't hold it against him, when his health declined he chose to move to the other side of the U.S. to be closer to his family members. I do fault him for never having any conversation with me about it, and having surprised me with packed bags when I came from work one evening. He flew out that week and I never heard from him again despite the voicemail I left checking in with him. Ghosted, in a way.
4. One "monogamous" little accidentally forgot to tell me about her Daddy Dom. I bumped into him online when he was really concerned since she had ghosted him for a few days and he was messaging everyone online. I was really surprised because she gave full indications that her and I were "meant to be" together and I was preparing to fly to her in the upcoming month.
   When she "came back" from her "mental breakdown" that had supposedly hospitalized her for a couple of days she told me that the man was emotionally abusive and neglectful. She begged me to remain her Mommy Domme. Then about a week later she ghosted me for good. I look back and see she just wanted the extra attention from me.
5. I connected with a little who was motivated and up to be Mommy's little helper at all times. He told me all of the right things, and went in depth about his needs as being a completely submissive male in all aspects of his life. Funny enough, I caught him being a strict, sensual "Daddy Dom" to multiple underage middle-school girls through social media accounts. You know, he just accidentally forgot to tell me that underage girls didn't count if he dominated them online behind my back. I cannot even fathom the lack of morality the man had.
6. I moved to a new area and found a local AB/little purely by odd chance. We chatted through text and on the phone quite a bit, building up the suspense of meeting. We met and had a wonderful time. I treated him as a little, made him lunch, changed his diaper a couple of times, and snuggled him up on the couch to watch some cartoons. He seemed to be in bliss. Afterward, all he texted about was asking me to change his diaper again. We'd meet and cycle back through the exact same things. After 5 meetings like this, and his lack of conversation in between those interactions, I felt like we needed to do more to bring us closer. One day I suggested him and I go out and do something out-and-about vanilla-style together, like grab pizza or see a movie in the theatre. COMPLETELY GHOSTED!
7. I had a little who portrayed himself as innocent and obedient. We talked often and at length. I felt like I really had a firm grasp of who this person was in the world. We both seemed happy and he was just generally everything I was looking for at that time. He was the sweetest little angel who wanted nothing more than to just talk and hang out with his Mommy. Except for when he forgot to tell me he was going on vacation for two weeks, and then accidentally forgot to ever talk to me again. Forever ghosted! For the life of me I still cannot even think of a bad moment we shared much less a reason to abandon me.
8. Major health complications messed up a recent relationship...or so I thought. When I wasn't around as often as I preferred (I got to have a conversation with him once every 2-3 days on average for a few weeks at the height of my health issue) the little reassured me that he was happy and well with the situation as long as I was still his Mommy and continued to work on improving my health. He seemed so supportive and hopeful. When I broke things off with him out of pure guilt (but hopeful that it was only temporary, which I clearly told him) he outright slandered me in a chat room and claimed that he was unhappy throughout the entire relationship because I was never around and just an overall bad Caregiver. Somehow he forgot about my overwhelming health issue at that time and the words he said to me to reassure me about our relationship up until the literal moment I broke it off with him. He not once came to me with a complaint. After I saw what he said about me it was obvious he was attention-seeking and playing for sympathy at that point. He ghosted when I confronted him about my hurt feelings and let him know how disappointed I was about the entire thing.

Now, I've dated for years. I've dated at long-distance. I've dated locally. I've had long term relationships and very short relationships. I've had both monogamous and polyamorous partners. I've dated males and females.

I've never been ghosted like this in vanilla relationships though. I've never been absolutely discarded like I have when I've been romantically involved with a little. I've literally never had someone tell me how much they loved me and then two hours after breaking up tell an entire chat room full of people that they were already over me and that it wasn't a big deal at all. In vanilla relationships my partners had almost always portrayed themselves very accurately and honestly. In my CGL relationships my partners have never been honest about themselves and their intentions (not even the ones I didn't bother mentioning because those were generally so brief). I'm not sure what it all means, but I know I'm lugging around a lot of baggage now.

Are Caregivers the "givers" and littles the "takers" and that's it now? Have we devolved to that mentality?

I haven't had a vanilla relationship in a long time but I'm beginning to wonder if it's just easier for most Caregivers if they connect with someone who is vanilla first and slowly introduce them to the dynamic once the relationship is firmly established.

Do you feel like this is common behavior for most littles? Am I right to expect to be ghosted and betrayed?

With each failed Caregiver/little relationship attempt, I've made previous littles really work to gain my trust and heart more than the one that came before them. Now I feel like I'm asking them to jump through hoops to prove to me that they are genuine.

Do real, true, and long-term Caregiver/little relationships actually exist or is this all of us just messing around with each other for a few weeks before moving on to somebody new and, eventually, settling into something vanilla and perceived as real? Is Caregiver/little something that is really only temporary or only truly successful when two people have been together for a long time (or in a marriage arrangement)?

For me personally, I have longed since I was very young, to one day happily marry someone whom I can share the AB dynamics with- I'd had someone whom I talked to on ABDLmatch.com , and everything seemed to be going well, and all of a sudden *poof* she vanished, and I felt so confused and broken, wanted to cry myself to sleep, then another girl I was chatting with, seemed SO good that she was in-a-way including me in her new years resolution "learn to play the piano, and eventually play you lullabies" then days later, *poof* she was gone- again leaving me lost and hurt :'( but in these cases, they were the MD in the MDLB :'(

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[NCBaby26]

In general, I think a lot of people can be selfish, vanilla or not. I have had women ghost me in the vanilla dating world just as much with kink dating.

People are different, we all have our special gifts and talents. I believe that each little is different and we each have our own stories. Littles can be very needy but I believe that there are littles out there including myself that cares about their partners and their interests. I don't currently have a partner myself, but I would want to make my partner happy and not let it be all me, me, me all the time.

Being a little is something that I have a lot of interest in and passionate about, but I know when I need to be a big boy for my partner with adult responsibilities.

I have been searching for a mommy since 2007 and have had a fair share of people ghost me or ignore me even when I didn't deserve it.

I know that I am more submissive, but I think it would be more difficult to reveal this adult interest to a vanilla person than a person that is already into it.

There are some rotten people in this world and I believe that there are good people in this world as well. I feel that you just haven't met the right little yet. It makes it frustrating with me with a lot of AB males that a lot of them paint a general picture for male AB's as a whole in that a lot of us are selfish and I don't think it's the case with every person.

In the dating world for myself whether it was vanilla or twisty, the result was the same in that I was the one pulling the strings trying to make it work but there would always be another guy to cut in or others wouldn't understand this adult interest or others would just disappear without any explanation whatsoever.

I've been deeply wounded over the years and I feel that with you as well with your experiences. I'm hopeful to find my mommy out there and I'm sure you can find a little for you. We just need to brush ourselves off and try again, it just takes time.

Don't let a few rotten apples spoil the bunch, there are those diamonds or rare treasures in the stack of needles. There are littles that care, some of us need a chance and I feel with my own experiences that women cut things off prematurely before you can even see where anything goes.

Much love

[KellyBugg]

so can i be that your j ust a bad mom to alll babys and littles? maybe that prolly could be why lol so try better

Wow....that's an amazingly rude thing to say to somebody that's going thru a rough time. I hope to god that if/when you ever post with something besides, "I'm ready right now, please DM me!!!" that you're not kicked when you're down. I'll never know, though, as...CONGRATULATIONS!!...you're the first on my "foe list" because I never want to see another post from you, ever.