- 8 years ago
#3966
Warning: I'm going to say a lot and I'm going to say things you probably don't want me to say!
As much as I have cared about partners that weren't interested in a Caregiver/little dynamic, I could never get past the hole in the relationship on my end.
Personally, I need to express my little-ness frequently. I need to just let go after work some days. I need to just sit and color, watch an animated film, drink from my sippy cup, or have a personal "pizza party" by eating a slice of pizza on a cartoon paper plate.
I NEED my partner to accept those things about me. He doesn't have to participate, no, but he needs to accept and love them because those things are a part of who I am.
In past relationships (both vanilla and non) I suppressed this as much as I could. I cared about the people I was dating, and they cared about me, but they weren't interested in a Caregiver/little dynamic. I didn't want to pressure them because I felt like it was something I should compromise about.
The truth is, for me, it wasn't something I could really compromise with in the end. I felt myself get very emotionally distant at times. I found myself going through phases of unexplained depression. There was always a feeling that something was missing and that I was hiding something about myself.
The compromising stopped with my current Daddy. He was quite the vanilla person, but has embraced me--little aspects and all--entirely. He has put great effort forward to meet my little-needs and I feel more fulfilled now than ever.
I say all of this because: if you feel like you're missing something and your partner is not willing to compromise to put a good foot forward in effort then, perhaps, you need to stop trying to compromise your needs and find a person better suited to you and who you are. You are important and valuable--your needs should be met. You deserve complete happiness and fulfillment.
I think that there are plenty of littles and adult babies who compromise in other aspects--they have a Caregiver externally from their relationship or they self-care--and get by just fine and dandy. I think it's quite possible. I also think that it is very situational and not a common solution to meeting needs properly.
The self-care guide on the site might be a good place to look if you're in a situation where your partner isn't interested in being a Caregiver and you're not polyamorous. If you live with your partner and they don't accept your little personality then this is going to be more difficult to achieve and, again, I would recommend to anyone in that situation to re-evaluate their relationship.
Sometimes we find wonderful people who we get along with well in life. It doesn't mean that they're the one or the person best suited to us long-term. We always need to think about that. There are plenty of fish in the sea--some are wonderfully great fish but just aren't the right fish for us.
Only you know what you can compromise with and what you can't. If it's something you can't compromise about then your partner needs to compromise to meet your needs. Or you need to find a better partner for you.