Littlespace Online

HI guys. So my Daddy and I just recently started a DD/lg relationship. He's a pretty amazing Daddy aside from a couple things. For one, he doesn't really do aftercare. Usually after I get spankings he only hugs me for a second and says "Don't do it again." which still leaves me upset and usually in a bad mood for a while. And two, he never listens to me. Whenever I say I don't like how we do something he always says "Is that a problem?" and if I even respond to that question he usually gets mad at me.

Any advice on how to fix this with him? Please don't suggest leaving him/finding a new Daddy. He's my husband, so I can't do that.

Is he new to the scene?

A lot of times people who haven't been a Daddy Dom before have a struggle to understand what exactly makes a Daddy Dom a Daddy Dom instead of a regular, traditional Dominant.

There are multiple ways to go about this, but I'd consider doing a good combination of a serious discussion and both of you taking time to learn about the dynamic.

Ask yourself:
When you come to him and say, "I don't like how we..." then are you giving him clear direction?

Try re-phrasing things to include the issue as well as your preferred remedy or some ideas of remedies.

Example:
Approach him neutrally (not upset) and say, "I don't like it when I only get a hug after spankings. I feel like I need more than a hug to get back in to a good headspace. Maybe after you spank me next time could we cuddle on the couch for 15 minutes or so after to see if that helps?"

You give him the issue and a suggested solution all in one without putting blame on him for being "bad" at whatever it is.

Also, have a serious discussion with him to request you both read more and learn more about the dynamic. Invite him to this site. Hunt down resources.

Not adult art. It's too fake and isn't really intended to be a sturdy learning resource.

Not stimulating material. It's too unrealistic at times.

I mean, resources like the articles on this site. Here is the basic aftercare guide that you both could go over together:

http://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.php/page/aftercare

Point out things like, "Oh, that sounds really nice!" or, "Hey, that's a good idea. I think maybe we could do something like that. What do you think?"

Look for tips, tricks, ideas, suggestions, and more from other people who are experienced. Ask questions on sites like this for some suggestions as you two grow together in the dynamic. Encourage him to do the same.

Yes, we're both pretty new to it. I'm usually the one doing the research and then sending him links to ones that I feel are important or that I think sound nice and then he reads them. I've sent him articles on aftercare before. So I don't think research is the problem.

But I do think that suggestion on how to talk about it might work, though. Thanks! I'll definitely talk to him tonight after he gets home from work and we eat dinner and relax.