[DaddysPrinzessin]

So I recently discovered I was a little while researching types of Doms and subs. It's amazing and I love it, but I sorta feel like we don't incorporate the whole D/s thing into it very much. How do you guys and your Daddy's incorporate it into your relationships?

[JuneStar]

I want to throw out there first that many DD/lg relationships have little to no typical BeDeeSeM aspects. Many do, many don't.

That being said, my Daddy and I don't do typical Dominance/submission type of scenes. Ever.

Daddy is a Caregiver. His job is to guide me, teach me, and help me grow to be the best me there that I can be in life.
Rules exist to help the little grow, practice good routine, and stay on a healthy page (mentally and/or physically).

This being said, your typical idea of BeDeeSeM may not pertain to many littles. A lot littles don't want to be tied up, beaten, bruised, cut, or 'forced' to do ideally unappealing tasks or some such because they are "submissive" and the Dominant said to do it just because they said to do it. Many of us are into Dd/lg because of the level of gentleness, love, and care we get from somebody we allow to make decisions on our behalf.

Some littles show their submission by adhering to rules that their Caregiver has created. They obey their chore list and the instruction of their Caregiver. They accept punishment (generally, in the scene here, it's things like spanking, writing lines, being assigned extra household chores, standing in a corner, have dessert/sweets taken away for a set period of time, being put into an adult diaper, etc). They allow the Caregiver to make their decisions for them (anything from what they have to eat as a meal or what they wear out to if they get to use a toilet versus diapers).

Some littles are non-physically intimate, too. So, that means there could be only the Dominance/submission occurring while they are little. Since they are nonsexual, they aren't engaging in scenes that involve physically intimate-BeDeeSeM. Instead, they are obeying and allowing the Caregiver to control how much freedom they get in terms of being an adult physically.

So, we're boiling down to the fact that it's going to be dependent on what you think of as BeDeeSeM and what you are comfortable and happy incorporating. Here are some ideas that maybe you and your Caregiver can talk over, depending on what you both enjoy and want to incorporate together:

Do you like punishment? Do you want to be scolded and punished?
- Punished (like spanking, writing lines, being assigned extra household chores, standing in a corner, have dessert/sweets taken away for a set period of time, being put into an adult diaper, etc) for not doing chores, using foul language, 'talking back' and disobeying, having a bratty attitude or tone, not using a diaper/using a diaper, bed wetting/accidents, eating sweets/candy without permission before a meal, etc.

Do you like being told what to do, ordered, and commanded of by a Caregiver?
- Assigned a chore list for the day, week, and month. Held accountable for telling your Caregiver details of your day, each and every day. Told how to dress each day. Given a bedtime and/or curfew. Given a schedule of your day/meals/activities.

Do you like more physically intimate aspects involved or only nonsexual Dominance/submission exchange?
- special burst denial, tied down during sex to allow your Caregiver 'full access', being forced into diapers and to use them and then humiliated and used sexually.

You can also get into more typical BeDeeSeM scenes like hard biting, bruising, slapping and smacking of other areas of your body, cutting/breaking of skin, consensual nonconsent ("no" means "yes"), forceful sex, forced encounters play, choking, physical restrictions (legs tied apart, arms tied together, etc.), forced special burst, golden showers as a form of dominance, pain infliction, commanded of just to be commanded (given a purposeless task 'just because you're not the Dominant and they are'), etc.

[sunflowerwharf]

Well I'm more of a middle and I'm not sure about the whole BeDeeSeM scenes in ddlg, other than my Daddy teaches me things sexually about what to do and stuff. I don't think itd be nice at all for a daddy to be all BeDeeSeM to their little or baby, normally their submissive is their whole world and wouldn't dare try to hurt them in any way. My Daddy teaches me how to present my self as a lady while guiding me through adult stuff that I'm not able to handle at all and encourages me writing my fairy tales and stories. Maybe you could be more of a big or middle than a little if you want to get into those things

[Taralil]

I think there are a million different ways to combine these designations and acronyms, and IT IS ALL OK. As long as things are between consenting adults, develop your relationship and identity and play however works and feels right to you. There is no one right way. I think a little can feel/be/act physically intimate without having to call themselves a middle or big, and whether or not a person calls their caregiver/little interaction style a kind of D/s is really just a personal preference for labels IMO.