- 7 years ago
#11510
Well, for one, my comment was not said in a distasteful, bratty tone but yours sure was! How incredibly rude.
I honestly don't know how, as an adult, you can have a close, healthy, long-term relationship with someone without telling them about what you do for a living.
It isn't bragging. It's telling them about your daily life, your other obligations, and where you generally are in your life.
"I work a part-time job of about 15 hours a week at a fast-food place for minimum wage."
Gives the person an idea--okay, my partner is likely going to be changing careers within the next year or two. They either have a lot of free-time or they are doing something else like going to school. They don't have much disposable income so they may feel stressed about bills or feel a tad inadequate in a relationship because of their lack of ability to buy gifts (for holiday, birthdays, etc.--not necessarily to spoil their partner). (Also, just to bring it to your attention...some people, like myself, ENJOY giving gifts to loved ones because we WANT to do that sometimes out of love and kindness.) They may live with assistance (parents financial assistance, state assistance for housing, food assistance, or even live with a parent/relative/friend).
"I work a job that keeps me away for 6 days a week. I work about 60-80 hours a week, but I enjoy what I do and make a decent living."
Gives the person an idea that their partner may be settled into their career for at least the next few years. They may not be thinking for long-term commitments like engagements, marriage, or children. They are gone a lot and, as their partner, you need to be secure, stable, and somewhat independent from their emotional support.
Since they're pleased with their job then they likely aren't very stressed over it and can decently relax in their downtime after work and on their day off.
This is all related to things like:
"I am currently going to college full-time and majoring in XYZ field."
Would you honestly not want someone to tell you they're going to college? It's the same thing. They aren't flaunting it. They aren't saying, "Look at how much money I have!" or, "I can spoil you financially!" They are literally just saying, "This is where I am in my life right now, just so you know what's going on with me on my end of things."
Honestly, I think if you AREN'T telling your partner about your job then you can't be serious about your commitment to them. As an adult your job tells a lot about your current life/lifestyle and potential future ambitions. In my opinion, you are failing your partner by keeping that important aspect of yourself apart from your relationship because you aren't being a real person to them.
And, no, long-distance, non-serious online commitments I guess might not involve needing to divulge things about your personal life like your career/job. I guess I am thinking of all of this at a real (in-person or long-distance), serious relationship where both parties are wanting to actually build something that lasts for years versus in-the-moment. Maybe you're just talking about short-term DDLG play or something, but my entire perspective and answer to this relates to long-term commitment between two adults--not quick online flings, high-school type relationships, or twisty fuckbuddies.