Relationship Status Additions to Forum?  [Answered]

User avatar
Rosetta
Posts: 86
Joined: 11 months ago
Rank: * Site Supporter *
Role: Little girl

Relationship Status Additions to Forum?  [Answered]

Postby Rosetta » 9 months ago

Hello,

Can we have Open Relationship as a relationship status please?

Thank you :)

User avatar
admin
 
 
Posts: 491
Joined: 1 year ago

Re: Relationship Status

Postby admin » 9 months ago

Hi, Rosetta:


Creating an "Open Relationship" status is extremely redundant and will not be implemented. There are multiple options that also imply that the relationship is an "Open Relationship", while better defining the original relationship, that are to be used instead:

  • Seeing Someone (Polyamorous) - A more casual, less-serious relationship status where the person may be open to another partner
  • In a Committed Relationship (Polyamorous) - A less casual, more-serious relationship status where the person may be open to another partner
  • Collared / Owned (Polyamorous) - A more BDSM-related, more-serious relationship status where the person may be open to another partner
  • Engaged (Polyamorous) - An engaged-to-be married situation where the person may be open to another partner
  • Married (Polyamorous) - A marriage where the person may be open to another partner
  • It's Complicated - Anything a person feels is best suited to no other relationship status we have available

Polyamorous means that a person is interested in being intimate (physically, emotionally, or mentally) with two or more other people. Polyamory doesn't always mean that both initial partners are both involved with the same third, fourth, fifth, etc. partner. It could very well mean that either initial partner is seeing other people as well or are open to seeing other people.

If your relationship is very casual and you're open to seeing other people then use the "Seeing Someone (Polyamorous) option, please. Placing the option of "Open Relationship" would create further misunderstandings on what status was more appropriate since the other ones we have available also include that while providing more tailored details about the current relationship the person maintains.


Thank you for the site suggestion and please feel to provide more ideas as you have them! :)

User avatar
Rosetta
Posts: 86
Joined: 11 months ago
Rank: * Site Supporter *
Role: Little girl

Re: Relationship Status

Postby Rosetta » 9 months ago

Yeah i know and i was considering the polyamorous option but the thing is that there is quite a big difference between polyamory and being open to seeing other people. Polyamory means that you are capable as a person to love more than one person deeply, and at the same time. A monogamous person however, feels that the love they would give to another person would take away from their other partner(s).
However, one can be monogamous (not polyamorous) while STILL seeing other people! So this would be completely contradictory with the Seeing someone (polyamorous) thing. I'm a great example; I'm monogamous, but if me and my partner have a long distance relationship we cant have physical contact so we might decide an open relationship is best suited so that we can have physical contact with others. However this does NOT mean that we are polyamorous.

Open relationships are a very common thing nowadays, also because lots of couples are into long distance relationships and need to somehow handle that. However, they are still monogamous with their original partner. If they were polyamorous, the goal would infct be to build up another relationship next to the one that is already in place. Monogamous open relationships don't do this, but they are open so still open to meet and have experiences with others.
Hope that it is a bit more clear now what I am looking for and why the other options aren't as accurate in my situation than an "open relationship" label. Because polyamory is about having equal love for all partners, while an open relationship is not.

User avatar
admin
 
 
Posts: 491
Joined: 1 year ago

Re: Relationship Status

Postby admin » 9 months ago

Hi, Rosetta:


I absolutely can understand your viewpoint. It makes sense to me that some people in committed relationships would want to also see other people for non-romantic purposes. I think that for many people, including myself, we include those relationships into the "poly" lifestyle as well.

Unfortunately, I will not be adding "Open Relationship" to our list because I still see no real purpose in identifying a relationship as that when polyamorous notation blankets those situations well.

Our community site here isn't specifically for dating so relationship status isn't truly necessary anyway. It was a task for someone to convince me that knowing relationships statuses was a helpful tool on building friendships. The user profiles we've created are simply to help each other get to know one another on a basic level. With all of this being said, you're more than welcome to choose a status available, use no relationship status, or clarify anything in the "A little about myself..." area.

I feel like users choosing a "Open Relationship" notation specifically for the purpose of identifying that they're willing to casually engage with others is encouraging a misunderstanding that this site exists for dating/romance/sensual involvement. It's already difficult enough to show people our site isn't specifically for dating but, rather, just communicating and becoming platonically involved with others with the same interests.

On a more personal note, what you have described is not monogamy in any fashion so you may want to re-evaluate your terms. Re-defining the English language to suit to your personal needs isn't always the right or best thing to do when you want to be understood. Directly from the Merriam-Webster dictionary, monogamy is defined as:

  • Simple definition (non-marriage definition): the state or practice of having only one sensual partner during a period of time
  • Full definition (non-marriage definition) : the condition or practice of having a single mate (defined simply as one of a pair in a partnered relationship) during a period of time

With that being said, if you're in a committed relationship but seeing other people, even only occasionally, then you're not monogamous, as much as you may wish you were. Just because you are committed to one person doesn't mean you're monogamous with that person. The definition of monogamy doesn't even involve love.

So, just because you're in love with your primary partner, yet you're having online and/or offline sensual encounters with people you do not have romantic feelings toward, doesn't mean you're monogamous. Because you're not, in any way, monogamous in the relationship you've described.

Also, based on your current relationship status in your profile: separated means you're legally married yet you do not live with or engage with your spouse. Since there is no romantic involvement any longer, it is typically seen as the step directly prior to or leading up to a legal divorce.


Thank you for your suggestion.


Return to “Site Suggestions, Questions, & Feedback”

Littlespace Online : 
IMPORTANT RULE FOR ACCESSING OUR COMMUNITY SITE!