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DDLG and Dating

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DDLG and Dating

Postby kawaii_princess » 1 year ago

What I basically want to know is how people manage or like juggle? .. don't know if that is an appropriate word to use. Both being in a relationship and DDLG. Does this not come off as conflicting? And would you feel like you'd only kind of be more one than the other? Like you're mainly dating but throw some ddlg or mainly ddlg and it doesn't actually feel like you're dating.

Don't know, feel like the dynamic I have with my boyfriend is a little awkward in a way since we're doing both.

Sorry in advanced if this question has been answered not too long ago.

kawaii princess <3

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Re: DDLG and Dating

Postby Trinibaby110 » 5 months ago

:art: pictures and coloring books :fight:pillows :luff: my daddy:stuffie: my teddy:sick: of bad dadies :remind: I am your Angel :you: You are my big:cake: I'm sweetie craze:for you :yay: great :pacy: to call down

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Re: DDLG and Dating

Postby Miss » 5 months ago

This is an extremely difficult question for me to really answer because I feel like Caregiver/little things are incorporated into dates/dating for me. I've actually tried to answer this many times now and I'm coming to the point where I think I should just explain how Caregiver/little dating works for me.

For example, a movie date could mean going to see something G/PG rated, buying child sized drinks and snacks for my little, and maybe making a diaper change mid-movie (if it's bad; gives us a nice break together) in the restroom. Maybe there would be a lot of hand holding and a lot of "Caregiver guiding" ("No, sweetie, a couple more rows down." "Here, hold my hand so we stay together, sweetie.") to the seats in the dark theatre room.

A dinner date could mean we go out some place and I bring out paper and crayons for my little to color and draw with while we wait for our food to get to the table. In some places, maybe my little would use a special straw cup we've brought along instead of the boring, plain ones available.

Generally, in a relationship, I have a tendency to take lead. I request a lot of input from my partner but, ultimately, I expect to be given the authority of primary decision making. Sometimes (pretty often, actually) I will ask for input only to see my partner's perspective even if I've already decided what we're going to do. Just as I'm a natural carer, I'm very much a natural leader.

I expect that my partner may be more sensitive or need me to provide more support than the average, independent man/woman in the dating scene now. Why do I think this? Because they're a little and it's generally something littles identify as being/needing.

I guess what I'm saying here is that they are not separate things for me. If they are for you then that's fine. Perhaps you can find a middle ground by scheduling specific dates, events, or times. (Every other Friday you have "little date night" instead of "regular date night" or something.)

If you want to blend the two together I feel like it's something very doable and fulfilling. Find little ways to enjoy being little in different "big" scenarios with your partner and remember to only do what is comfortable.

Bringing out your own crayons and coloring and drawing at the table while waiting for dinner is not as strange as you may think. The waitress is likely just going to assume you are generally an artsy person who is bored.

Bringing your own drink cup isn't as strange either. They are going to assume that you have your own reasons for wanting your own container for your drinks. Nobody is going to laugh or make fun of you and you're not going to draw attention from it.

Having a fun and silly conversation about what your favorite colors are isn't going to turn heads and cause a scene. Most people will ignore the conversation you're having with your partner completely anyway.

See what I'm saying? Perhaps there is no need to "balance" in these things but, rather, a "blending" of the right things.

Everyone is going to do dating and Caregiver/little dynamics their own way though. I suggest talking with your partner and figuring out what makes both of you happy with what you're doing and where you're going together in the relationship. Maybe setting specific times for certain things will work best for you if you want to keep the two things separated. It's okay to have "big time" and "little time" if that needs to happen for you to be happy. :hugs:

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