Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little and into DDLG

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PRPrincess
Posts: 5
Joined: 8 months ago
Role: Kitten

Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little and into DDLG

Postby PRPrincess » 8 months ago

Hello,

I've been reading about the DDLG dynamic because, my boyfriend mentioned something about his ex wife categorizing him as a daddydom and it started my curiosity. After reading the forums and some articles about it, I'm struggling to decide if I really am a little or just like some things that seem very similar.

I like the controlling and dominant part from him and I love how protective and caring he is with me. My only real problem right now is that, his ex wife (who uses to be his little until she ran off with another man, more than once) just started staying with us because she got evicted and has some health issues or whatever her excuse might be. The thing is that we had talked about having some extra fun sometime with another girl in our bed and now he has asked me if I really want to try the Ddlg lifestyle and if I will be willing to let his ex wife be part of our bed (supposedly strictly relations, no spending time with her, or having any other type of relation but relations).

I'm in love with him and I want to do whatever it takes to make him happy and proud of me but, for some reason I'm having a hard time just thinking about the fact if his ex wife being around our relations life.

Am I being unreasonable or paranoid? Is this something I have to be willing to deal with if I want to be a little? Are all daddys going to ask for things like that?

I feel so happy with him and I don't wanna loose him but, I don't think if I can "share" him with her.

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CottonCandyPrincess
Posts: 9
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Role: Little girl

Re: Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little

Postby CottonCandyPrincess » 8 months ago

I might not be the most experienced one but I think there is nothing wrong with what you feel. It's natural and normal that If you love someone you don't want to "share" him with another girl. Especially if the girl is ex wife. At some point of his life he was in a relationship with her and had feelings for her so if I were you I would immediately feel the same way as you do. I would advise you to talk to him forthright. If he is caring and he loves you he is going to understand. If he asks you why you may tell him smth like : "I don't feel comfortable around her " or just " I wouldn't like her to enter our private zone" . Just tell him how you really feel. If he is good enough for you he won't oppose.
The other matter is you being little. I would say the best thing to find out if it's your thing or not it's just to simply try it out. As you have said, If there are things that you can relate to in DDLG it might be a lifestyle for you. But at the same time it's perfectly ok if you don't feel like it. It's fine to try new things. No one ever knows what one's into until one tries. And I come back to the same conclusion that the best thing to do it's just to communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him if you want to try it out or not? What are your concerns? What are yours needs in a relationship?
I hope that everything is going to fall into place. Embrace who you are and never pretend to be someone else even for a person you love because this life it's all about YOU in the end and what YOU want from it. You are beautiful just the way you are and your emotions are all normal, because we are all human beings and we all have feelings and concerns.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you
Send you all of my love and support <3
<3 Be good or be gone <3

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JuneStar
Posts: 285
Joined: 1 year ago
Role: Little girl

Re: Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little

Postby JuneStar » 8 months ago

This is just my perspective here:

She was a wife to him because it was more than just relations between them before. They have a history where they were previously very romantically involved. He married her with the vows, "'Til death do us part," because he truly felt that way at one point.

It also sounds that her behavior was the real issue. She did things to push him into feeling like they weren't long-term compatible because she was sleeping with other people. (Do you even know if she's had a recent STD test since she's been previously so promiscuous? Your HEALTH is IMPORTANT!)

Has he been talking with her about sex-subjects and is that why he feels she can be introduced into your shared bed so easily? Have YOU even talked to her about this or has it just been him and her talking?

I would not proceed with a threesome with this lady at this point. I feel like red flags are present. You feel uneasy about this for very good reason.

Sometimes you just can't have your cake and eat it too. I almost feel like they had a really good relations life but personally they didn't get along so now he's trying to sleep with YOU (who he is personally compatible with) and her (who he is sensually compatible with) and everything be all sunshine and rainbows.

I will tell you now, it is a VERY unique type of couple who can pull this situation off and stay well-intact.

I understand that you're submissive and have some open thoughts about things. That's great. Really great. That doesn't mean you're not human though. You still have feelings and sometimes those are important to listen to more than doing something just to please your dominant partner. Because, at the end of the day, YOU'RE the one that has to go to bed listening to YOUR inner-thoughts and feelings.

It IS important you talk to him about this, but it ALSO important that you know and express your personal boundaries, feelings, and thoughts despite what he may want. YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

(Also, I'd feel like, hello, this is a grown woman. I'm sorry she's had it rough and got evicted but why does that mean she needs to come live with her ex-husband his current girlfriend? Please.)

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PRPrincess
Posts: 5
Joined: 8 months ago
Role: Kitten

Re: Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little

Postby PRPrincess » 8 months ago

Thank you very much for the responses. I feel a little bit better. Still can't decide what to do though.

SeekingatruS
Posts: 10
Joined: 8 months ago
Role: Daddy

Re: Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little

Postby SeekingatruS » 8 months ago

I think these people gave you good sounding input.

As a man, I would not ever impose a situation like this on my little. My ex is my EX for a reason. sensually or not, it's dumb. Guys want to have their cake and eat it too. Sure, they're familiar with their ex because of their history, but they need to not think with their little dangling head and start thinking with their heart.

As a Caretaker/DD we need to keep our focus on keeping our little safe(physically and emotionally) and feeling loved. Meaning, he should never put your feelings on the back burner for his own selfish desires.

Don't do it, it'll ruin this wonderful life experience that you could possibly enjoy. ;)

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PRPrincess
Posts: 5
Joined: 8 months ago
Role: Kitten

Re: Very confused and scared about wanting to be a little

Postby PRPrincess » 8 months ago

Thank you so much! It's very relieving having the opportunity to listen to a Caretaker/DD too.


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