We have noticed an influx of members posting their usernames to chat programs (kik, Skype, whatsapp, etc) and other profiles (tumblr, twitter, instagram, etc) in the chat room and throughout the forum. We feel like we need to clarify some rules and information as to why these rules exist.
- Your chat program names, phone numbers, links, and e-mails are not permitted to be posted in your posts, threads, signature, or within the main room of the chatroom.
- You can post these things on your user profile here or exchange them with each other through private message.
Posts, threads, and chat room messages cannot be edited. Your profile can always be edited and updated by you at any time you choose.
A few months back we had an increase in users. Along came some non-kink-friendly folks who did not understand these Caregiver/little dynamics. As far as we were able to tell, the non-kink-friendly folks hadn't created profiles here but had simply just browsed the forum parts that are accessible to everyone. Some users that had posted their personal information on the site in their posts began getting hateful, harmful messages about this interest. These few folks were harassed and at least one of them felt they had to end up creating new names for their other accounts online.
This occurred to multiple members. In the safety of our members, we made profiles private so that only registered members would be allowed to see them and so that search engines (like Google or Bing) would not be able to access and index them.
We had also had one member post their phone number on the site so that anyone could text them. Anyone means anyone and the user was getting contacted by numbers they didn't recognize. It was difficult for them to figure out who was contacting them since they had literally posted their number to every person reading their public post!
We also created the above rule.
Manually, we edit posts to remove these names when we see them. You see our edits when users have used italics and have said something like (my kik is in my profile here). We do also always check to make sure the user's kik name (or whatever name they're displaying) appears in their profile so we're not directing users to the profile for nothing.
The rule exists for your safety and general privacy. It can be easy to be too open online. We don't want anyone being harassed by some online troll that doesn't understand our lives. We want to do what we can to keep members in a safe space.
It can be easy for friends or family not in the scene to Google search your screen name on a chat program and find sites you've posted it on. This site won't be one of them as long as our rule is followed.
How to add your contact information, chat names, and links to your profile:
How to private message other members:
- You must have at least (1) accepted post on the forum. See our document about chatting, private messaging, and viewing other user profiles to learn more.
- Forum: Left-click on the user's name. On the lower left of the profile, find "PM: Send private message" and left-click it. Type your message.
Note: Users do have the option to disable private messaging! If you can't find the "PM: Send private message" link then they may have disabled messaging.
- Chat room: Right-click on the user's name. From the small menu that appears, select "Private message" and it will open up a private chat box between only you and that person.
Note: Only golden supporter status members are permitted to instant private message in the chat room.
Other privacy questions answered:
- How do I change my user name on this site?:
If you need to change your username because it's attached to your personal details elsewhere online then contact the Admin. directly and we can discuss it further to have that taken care of for you.
- Can the Admin. or moderators see my private messages to other members?:
No, we have absolutely no access to any private message you send to another member unless that other member knowingly forwards it to us. That ability isn't even coded onto the site because it isn't necessary. Your privacy is important to us. We will never access your personal conversations unless you or the person you're conversing with chooses to show the conversation(s) to us.
- The chat program or website I use doesn't have a section on my profile. How do I enter it?
You have a couple of options. You are more than welcome to add the information into your actual "about me" section of your profile. Alternatively, you can actually make the feature request on this forum itself by creating a new post in the Site Suggestions, Questions, & Feedback section.
- How do I report another member?
If another member is harassing you or they reveal to you that they are underage then we take your reports very seriously. Please report their post if it's inappropriate or the person reveals they are under the legal age of consent or contact the Admin. directly if there is no specific post to report (in the case of chat room harassment, for example). Be prepared to provide the chat log of the incident with the member if it pertains to the situation.