- 3 years ago
#56164
hi!
i really don't know if this is just me rambling and having a hard time over nothing but as i found this place in my most... difficult? questionable? hard? time i think it is ok?
Uhm,, i first found out about being a little when i was 16 and it was only in ddlg/mmlg topic and i started to identify myself as that, but with time i noticed that what i felt wasn't physically intimate while being little (which actually happened once and i just found out and i'm kinda freaking out) and drifted away from this.
As I read a lot of fanfiction, i was looking for one and came across an agere tag and that really caught my attention. I started reading a lot of those and felt comfortable reading it, as it was safe and nonsexual.
Then I entered a a chat site chat and found some littles that liked to read the same fics as me!! and I thought that was amazing! so we created a agere separate chat... as I dont know what i identify in this community i put myself as a lovely! to talk and interact to littles! but as days went by i noticed that i felt drawn to being treated as a little and having someone sweet talking to me as i do to the other littles...
I drifted away from the littles and stopped reading so many agere fics as i was getting anxious trying to figure if im a little myself but here i am!
I read the how do you know youre a little post and actually identified with some points and knowing it made me feel even more anxious - specially right now as im writing this bc its my first time taking theses thought out of my head -
i also looked up about age dreaming and thought that was my solution but once i started to search more about it i knew that wasnt me...
I live with three people (my parents and brother) and as we're in a critical time during the pandemic we quarantine since the beginning of 2020 and i dont get to have my own space, privacy and time to actually be a little for once and see how it feels to finally figure myself out. I also cant buy little stuff as one of my parents always opens my packages for me and i still feel embarrassed to even look for it... i just know that i want...
or maybe im just putting myself too much into a community that dont belong in me... i really dont know...
maybe i just want some validation? idk,...
I never tried being a little consciously but i do think it happened unconsciously once (the time i said at the beginning) and starting to think about it makes me feel really anxious. as well as thinking about this whole new community i think i might belong to... and that scares me...
i dont really know why im writing this but i think i'd be nice to actually read comments and opinions from you guys already here
and i actually dont know if any of the words i wrote makes sense as english is not my first language and i just wrote what comes in my mind at the moment!
if anyone reads this thank you so much you dont know how much it means to me...
![:3 ::3:](./images/smilies/kitty_by_kyuubisslave-d350h2v.gif)
i really don't know if this is just me rambling and having a hard time over nothing but as i found this place in my most... difficult? questionable? hard? time i think it is ok?
![present :pres:](./images/smilies/giftbox__by_darkmoon3636.gif)
Uhm,, i first found out about being a little when i was 16 and it was only in ddlg/mmlg topic and i started to identify myself as that, but with time i noticed that what i felt wasn't physically intimate while being little (which actually happened once and i just found out and i'm kinda freaking out) and drifted away from this.
As I read a lot of fanfiction, i was looking for one and came across an agere tag and that really caught my attention. I started reading a lot of those and felt comfortable reading it, as it was safe and nonsexual.
Then I entered a a chat site chat and found some littles that liked to read the same fics as me!! and I thought that was amazing! so we created a agere separate chat... as I dont know what i identify in this community i put myself as a lovely! to talk and interact to littles! but as days went by i noticed that i felt drawn to being treated as a little and having someone sweet talking to me as i do to the other littles...
I drifted away from the littles and stopped reading so many agere fics as i was getting anxious trying to figure if im a little myself but here i am!
I read the how do you know youre a little post and actually identified with some points and knowing it made me feel even more anxious - specially right now as im writing this bc its my first time taking theses thought out of my head -
i also looked up about age dreaming and thought that was my solution but once i started to search more about it i knew that wasnt me...
I live with three people (my parents and brother) and as we're in a critical time during the pandemic we quarantine since the beginning of 2020 and i dont get to have my own space, privacy and time to actually be a little for once and see how it feels to finally figure myself out. I also cant buy little stuff as one of my parents always opens my packages for me and i still feel embarrassed to even look for it... i just know that i want...
or maybe im just putting myself too much into a community that dont belong in me... i really dont know...
maybe i just want some validation? idk,...
I never tried being a little consciously but i do think it happened unconsciously once (the time i said at the beginning) and starting to think about it makes me feel really anxious. as well as thinking about this whole new community i think i might belong to... and that scares me...
i dont really know why im writing this but i think i'd be nice to actually read comments and opinions from you guys already here
![>o< :>o<:](./images/smilies/angry_and_frustrated_by_kyuubisslave.png)
and i actually dont know if any of the words i wrote makes sense as english is not my first language and i just wrote what comes in my mind at the moment!
![:splode: :splode:](./images/smilies/_love__by_cookiemagik.gif)
if anyone reads this thank you so much you dont know how much it means to me...