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New, inexperienced, and recently discovered adult babies, regressors, littles, and Caregivers ask for perspectives, advice, tips, and information from more knowledgeable friends.
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#57376
So, I'm a FtM little boy - but when I go into littlespace I find myself acting more like a little girl, it makes me really uncomfortable and makes the usually comforting time into a stressful, uncomfortable one :( :tears:

I have had some bad things happen around the time I regress to and frequently when I littlespace (stressed not comfortable) I will have flashbacks to it, and it scares me. However, now it's bleeding into normal littlespace and it's upsetting me!

Can anyone help me remove those feelings?? Or at least help me find some ways to make it more comfortable... Thank you!!!

<3333
- K
#57377
hehehello wrote: 2 years ago I have had some bad things happen around the time I regress to and frequently when I littlespace (stressed not comfortable) I will have flashbacks to it, and it scares me. However, now it's bleeding into normal littlespace and it's upsetting me!

Can anyone help me remove those feelings?? Or at least help me find some ways to make it more comfortable...
Therapy. You need therapy. You deserve therapy.

Nobody, especially a bunch of online strangers, will be able to help you find relief from abuse, trauma, or just general bad experiences. Your memories are coming up when you’re feeling you should be most relaxed, and that’s a huge sign that you haven’t resolved your feelings about them yet. You aren’t bad, but you need real help, not casual advice.

Please take care of yourself by getting help when you need it. I know it can be hard to recognize when you might need help so I’m telling you as clearly as I can. You aren’t going to resolve negative experiences and traumas without talking a lot about them, your feelings about them, and figuring out through deep conversations what future concerns you have in relation to those experiences. A good therapist will listen to all of these things for you and help you understand what happened and your feelings better. They’ll be able to help figure out if you have fears associated to the past experiences even if you don’t realize it. They know how to identify what is most bothering you and they know how to help you work through it so that you can feel untroubled by the past.

If you’re seeing a therapist currently about this past experience but you don’t feel like they’re really helping you then see a different therapist. Some definitely have more experience than others, and some definitely put in more effort than others. It may take a few to find one that is willing to work their best at helping you but don’t give up, they are out there!

You need that help. You deserve that help. Please get that help so you don’t have to stay chained to bad memories. :hugs:
#57378
[/quote] You need that help. You deserve that help. Please get that help so you don’t have to stay chained to bad memories. :hugs: [/quote]

Hi!! And thank you, I'm going to counselling soon anyway - but I'll make sure to mention this, it just feels like there's already so much to talk about... and it's just a bit embarrassing to talk about... Especially as councillors are kinda scary to me anyway hehe XD but thank you, I really appreciate the response :)) :hugs: :hugs: I hope you have a really happy day :splode: !!!!

<333
- K
#57381
i'm gonna tell you something that will blow your mind and solve all your problems: kids don't care about gender and until a certain age,don't even know it exists. gender is a grown up concept that adults feel the need to highlight and needlessly make important but kids? kids do what they personally think feels good. SO if you find you act a little bit more femme when in littlespace,that just means that your littleself just happens to be a bit more sensitive and or/take enjoyment in "girl" things and that's both totally fine and totally normal. what i'm saying is that the problem is not littlespace,it's that you're thinking about it like a grown up so it's all in your head and the only way to fix it is for you to simply accept that little you has a bit more sugar,spice and everything nice in them and that's 100% ok. the moment you come to terms with it is the moment all the stress goes away.
#57530
This is an older post so hopefully you've worked through this by now but in case you haven't and you need to hear this: you can act however "feminine" you want and it doesn't make you a girl. You could wear only pink dresses, have long hair and call yourself a princess, and you would STILL BE A BOY because you are YOU. If you are a boy, it's because you know that's who you are, not because of how you act - or what society would say about how you act. The only person who decides your gender in littlespace or ANYWHERE is you.

In regular everyday life I don't really know my gender. Sometimes I feel like one or the other binary gender, sometimes I feel like both at the same time. When I'm little, I'm just a girl, that's it. It doesn't matter what I do or what I wear or what I play with; I'm a girl because I simply AM.

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