“Just talking” to a Caregiver so that you feel little and special (“loved”) is using them. It isn’t appropriate, to be quite honest. Using someone who loves in the way you want to be loved without returning their love isn’t very nice. So, do keep that in mind. Caregivers aren’t toys.
Caregivers are not just that one single label. We are each individuals with our own interests and preferences too. There is so much to being seriously romantically compatible with another person, and CGL is absolutely a romance. Any good dating advice applies to partnering up with one of any gender. There is no special voodoo magic to it. If you're not finding success then you should re-evaluate where you are looking, your approach to prospective partners, and your own personal dating skills (Google has a wide variety by typing in something like "best dating tips" and you can pull up YouTube videos of "best dating advice" outright explaining good tips that may be useful for more visual learners). Try searching for:
- Online dating tips for men / women
- Successful dating tips for men / women
- Best dating advice
- How to find a girlfriend / boyfriend
- How to attract a girlfriend / boyfriend
- How to approach a woman / man
- How to approach a woman / man on a dating site
- How can a man / woman improve his / her online dating profile
- Dating profile tips
- How to dress on a first date
- Conversation topics for first date
- First date manners
- First date etiquette
- Dating etiquette
- Dating manners
- First date expectations
- How to get a second date
- How to impress a date
- How to prepare for a date
- What I have to offer my to-be-partner.
- Why you should contact me.
- How I stand out from the rest of the available littles/caregivers.
- What I want to do to make you happy too.
- What I'm willing to put into our relationship to make sure it's the best for us.
- When I can be available to message, chat, talk, or meet-up with you.
So, keep making personal improvements on yourself and keep searching. You'd rather find someone who takes your relationship seriously than someone who makes a fling of it just because they have one label you like. Just because you find a Mommy or Daddy doesn't mean you should actually be with that Mommy or Daddy because, again, compatibility extends far past one label a person has on themselves. A Mommy or Daddy is not necessarily your Mommy or Daddy. Many people take a decade or more to partner up into something that is worthwhile and lasts. I am in my 30s, have been a part of the community since about 2001, and only just now finding solid relationships. Oh, and, yeah, I'm a cis-female Mommy so that point extends well past adult babies and littles. Most people have to search, struggle, and grow to be able to find someone who makes their heart the happiest it's ever felt.
The CGL relationship is like any other romance. A large portion of finding someone suitable is spending the time making sure you’re compatible on multiple levels. A relationship isn’t going to be fulfilling if you aren’t compatible no matter what names you call one another.
Ideally, you should spend time getting to know prospective partners very well before agreeing to a commitment. Ask base questions and let those bleed into conversation that lets you determine if you share perspectives. These conversations should happen even during your relationship so that you can refresh viewpoints and realign together on topics one person may feel is important.
Share public resources that you agree with and ask the person you’re chatting with about their thoughts and feelings on the topics. You can still do this with your current partner if you choose to attempt to repair the relationship. Again, this should help develop insightful conversation.
Make your intentions clear. There’s no reason to be shy and bashful when it comes to telling someone what you are sure you do not want. If you don’t want to engage in sexual situations for the foreseeable future then you should let the other person know.
Just the same, know what you want. If you want friends with benefits with no romantic commitment then say that as well as what “benefits” means. If you are looking for a happily ever after then tell the person that you’re only seeking very serious, devoted connections. You have to know what you want to be able to tell other people what this and that means to you. You can’t just expect the other person to know what you want or to be okay with you using them to “explore”.
Be prepared to accept you may not be compatible. Don’t force a connection that isn’t there, no matter how nice the person may be to you. You have to be strong for yourself and not let someone bully you into accepting them as your special someone. Gain confidence to reject and also accept rejection.
Always remember that people in this community are real people and not just labels to match. You have to spend time and effort to not only get to know who someone is but also to create a genuine bond with them. Work at keeping yourself accountable at getting to know people before committing to them.
Also, there is an actual, completely free, CGL based dating site to explore. I think my advice covers the basic points though.