Sharing advice on how to seek, manage, and maintain a relationship that includes CGL identities.
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#55544
Hello and happy new year everyone! :shuff:
I'm very new to this community, so I'm sorry in advance if I misinterpret anything wrong, that's definitely not my intention! Also, English is not my first language. I'm sorry for any upcoming mistakes.

So a few months ago I met a boy through an online game, we've only talked 3-4 times since then. Four days ago we chatted again (this time outside of the game) and clicked instantly. Our conversation took a really sharp turn and suddenly I've found out that he's a little. I'm already familiar with it and have also informed myself about it a long time ago already, so that wasn't anything shocking to me. I would even say that I can see myself in the mommy/caregiver role. Anyway, he asked me if he could call me mommy and I agreed. I loved it. And some time later he asked me out! But I refused and said that I want to get to know him properly first.

We texted all day long and today we made it kinda "official" that I'm his mommy. He also told me about his trauma and issues. :what: Is it normal that he was opening up to me so fast? He did say that I make him feel safe and happy but I was really surprised when he trusted about such a heavy topic..

Are we rushing things? I mean, we've only got to properly know each other four days ago, but I already feel like that I want to do anything to make him happy! And I'm also scared that this relationship could get out of hand and turn (emotionally) manipulative or toxic.

What do you guys think? I'm sorry for the long story!

Best regards, Lychee :share:
#55545
hi hi! so I have to be super straight forward and say that yes, it is suuuuuper early to jump into such a relationship!
I'm super new to this as well but from what I've been reading and been told and advised is that a relationship such caregiver and little is the same as any relationship, with the added dynamics.
You have to learn about your partner outside of littlespace before jumping into that, you have to know each other. It takes time to build up trust and love, even if the anxiety and the excitement makes you want to rush forward.

Obviously your relationship is up to you too but to me it feels like it's too early to jump into a relationship and to allow yourself to call your partner mommy. It's a big responsibility to be a caregiver and a little shouldn't trust this fast! They could get hurt and end up hurting their partner as well.

So this is my advice: take time to know each other and since your new to the community take time to know yourself as well! Learn about the community and your possible partner, there's no need to rush things, take it slow this isn't a race. That said I do wish happiness to the two of you! I hope this helped a little :hugs:
#55550
I must agree with @SilentBunny. 4 conversations isn’t at all enough to have gotten to truly know this person enough to definitely be committing to such a deeply emotional relationship with them. You may know what they’re comfortable telling about themselves upfront but you don’t truly know them deeply enough to trust them fully, intimately, or rely on them to prioritize you and your relationship.

Allowing them to call you “Mommy” means you are agreeing to some form of private intimacy. It may be difficult to see since it may feel harmless, but you can understand it better when realizing that “Mommy” is, generally, reserved to only one, very specific person with a very specific role in a child’s entire lifetime. Children who call other women “Mommy” are corrected. In replicating that sort of irreplaceable bond, Littles often prefer to call their partner Mommy/ Daddy. Within our community, it’s very much passively understood to be equivalent to “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”. As a community, we should not be encouraging Littles to give these special titles to those they’ve just met. Sometimes our community promotes such roleplay as casual, and, unfortunately, the lines are blurred for many.

Since you’re in a commitment now you can only do your best to make the most of it, correct your mistakes, and work on building your bond. You’re a team now so you two should make a point to increase your communication and to keep it regular. Try to get to know them as an individual, even on those “boring” or everyday notes, as well as their regression and community stances. What they believe about the CGL portion of the partnership may not exactly align with what you believe so it’s important to keep prioritizing communication.

They say what sparks very quickly often burns too fast and fizzles out just as quickly as it began. Try to take a slower pace, if possible, and try to stay positive even if you have disagreements or misunderstandings, which are bound to happen even in the closest of partnerships. In time you can really build something solid and fulfilling, even if the start wasn’t the most ideal.

Remember that your relationship is like any other romantic commitment and that the parenting and regression components are additions. Remember that relationships take a lot of work from both partners. Remember that prioritizing each other and the relationship becomes crucial.

Perhaps have your partner also become involved with community with you. It can help to have something to share and bond over. You two can explore, grow, and learn together by interacting on the forums and in chat rooms. It might be something to consider trying together so you don’t only have a game to talk about once the newness wears off.

Best of luck!

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