[Imthoughtsslt]

I’m in my first ddlg relationship (long distance) my daddy is very kind and caring and sweet. But, I wish I could talk to him more. It feels like when we first started talking he spoke to me more and said a lot more ~romantic~ things. Since this is my first relationship like this so I don’t know what’s normal. I only talk to him maybe once or twice a day usually and sometimes his responses can be very short compared to mine which I worry are too lengthy. I’ve told him many times before I wish we could talk more but that I understand he is busy and has things to do. He tells me he wishes we could talk more too but nothing ever changes even when it appears (at least i assume) that he has more free time. At the end of the day I often feel neglected and sad. Like i am just way too needy. :( I wish he would do more daddy stuff? There’s stuff I’ve asked him to do in the past that he just doesn’t…unless I bring it up again and ask for it myself(usually more than once) which only serves to make me more sad. I don’t know if that even makes sense. I love him and care about him a lot but it feels like there’s something I don’t know. I can’t shake this weird feeling. I worry I’m just overthinking and not being appreciative of what I have with him already. All I know is I feel sad and anxious. I tell him so often that I need reassurance and attention but I feel like I barely get it from him even when I practically beg him for it. And When i do..it feels minimal to me? I feel bad for saying that because maybe he is putting in all he can and this is just how he shows it. He tells me he loves me all the time and wants me which i appreciate and tell him such. I just still feel like I’m giving my heart and soul into this and…he’s not? Or is he? I have no idea :(
Again, I just don’t know if I’m in the wrong here :(

[Deleted User 70612]

All long distance relationships work differently. Depending on how many hours and how demanding his job is twice a day may not seem like a lot to you but might be a lot to him. Also after work he may need his time to have to himself as well. CGS do require down time to regain their energy to show us the care and love we need too. If you are feeling sad and lonely you may need to find things to do in those down times when he is busy so that he can take care of his business. However if on his days off he is not giving you more attention then i would say yes address this issue. Maybe a good morning and good night text and then after work a call would be good so that you do not feel so lonely and anxious. You however are the only one who can decide if he is truly committed to your relationship and only you can fully see what we do not.

[LunaLilac]

I'm not gonna lie, this rings painfully similar to my current situation, and I don't think I can really say anything without being a hypocrite, being unable to achieve much in my own situation but. I think regardless of the nature of the relationship, at its core it is still that, a relationship, and communication is key, I think it's important to to be empathetic and understand that your partner could very well just be too busy at times, but reaching out when you find even a moment, to try and address your concerns.

But again I'm definitely a hypocrite in this situation.

[Elvie]

Unfortunately it’s hard to give advice because giving 100%, being checked-out, etc, look so different person to person.

If you can my recommendation would be to request a time when you can have a serious, uninterrupted conversation. Tell him everything you told us - you don’t want to be demanding but you feel like he’s not making the effort and as it is now, you don’t feel appreciated (or whatever the word would be). Remember in a good relationship this won’t be you two arguing with each other, it’ll be you two working together to solve a problem.

However he may be unwilling to change and only you can decide what you want to do if that’s the case. But don’t worry about that yet, first things first.