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#50075
I've struggled with self-esteem for years. I thought it would all be better once I got a boyfriend (It's very hard for me to talk to people so my current daddy is my first relationship). In some ways, it has helped but in others, I feel much worse. Every time I fail at something now, I freak out and panic because my daddy is so magical, he deserves a girl who is good at things. Today is his birthday and I decided to bake him peanut butter blossom cookies and make him a bike bag, among other things. I made the bike loops too short to fit his bike so it looks very bad now because I had to add extra stitches to the middle. And I tried 4 different cookie recipes but they turned out badly each time. They're like pancakes. He deserves the best gifts and I've screwed it all up!! I can't stop crying, so I haven't had time to fix up the house or get dressed up all pretty for him or anything and now my eyes are swollen so he'll worry about me instead of focusing on himself. I feel so defeated and the thought of seeing him today makes me feel sick. He deserves so much more. I can't even bake a batch of cookies. If anyone else here has experienced this feeling of being unworthy of your partner and overcame it, how did you do it? I know I need therapy but some advice to help in the meantime while i work up enough money would be greatly appreciated. XX
By Daxterman
#50078
I agree with you that therapy is one of the best, if not the best, way to overcome your insecurities.
I must tell you that I have felt this before, the feeling of never accomplishing or getting near what we expect ourselves to do and be to the loved one
From my experience what always helped was thinking how, in this case, he chose and chooses you every day, every moment, every time that you think that you are unworthy he chooses you. Today is his birthday and in his birthday won't be remembered by the things that didn't go as planned, it's the intention, the fact that he had AND HAS you to be there, you are trying your hardest to make him happy and by all means, you are doing perfectly.

His love will also be towards his attention to you, that is why if he sees you bad he will think about you and not him. You are worthy of your daddy! Now, you must be a good little of the daddy you love and be there for him, once you are with him, he doesn't want to be with anybody else.
Remember now, and always, he loves you, because of who you are. Your not so successful projects don't define your love or your "worthiness", it only means you are trying to make him happy, and I bet your daddy is very happy with you.

So, before you two met, I recommend you go take a shower, clean up your tears, bring a cute outfit and have fun, try to make him happy but never forget that both of you must be happy and that he chooses you every day because of who you are, even if that means you are not perfect.
I am also very happy that you came here to ask for help instead of crumbling and feeling worse, I recommend you after today talk with your daddy about your feelings, so you can find a way to block you from panicking and start crying when you "fail".

Woves and Kisses, Daxy.
Hope and I bet he will get one of the best, if not the best birthday ever because of you

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