Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
Note: Personal ads are NOT permitted.
Forum rules: This section of the site is for open, group conversation and public discussion topics within the community.
► Show more details
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
so i got a date set for the first as a daddy. I know I'm alot more caregiver than disciplinarian, and that's more what he's looking for. It is expected to get sexual, but also expected to lead to further encounters, and not based solely around sex. We both had shitty parents. We both want to wear diapers. We're talking a bunch online but not in character. IDK kinda drunk but really excited. Any advice?

Oh-I'm engaged and in an open relationship, so while I expect it to lead to more, he'll never be my first priority.

I take that back-my fiance's got less than a year left so that may change if things last awhile, though I expect I'd be in no mood to play a daddy for awhile after.
Don't have any in depth advice. All I can suggest is take it slow and check in/communicate a lot. Don't let the frenzy and excitement rush either of you.
Having a stand-by bootycall that shares a adult interest is actually not polyamorory but does fall under ethical nonmonogamy. Polyamory suggests there is romance between partners, and that there is a relationship commitment established. Sexual encounters or scenes are not of polyamory unless they are also paired with multiple romantic relationships. An “open relationship” is not necessarily a polyamorous relationship.

As for the roleplay aspect of this question, I’d suggest you locate a better group that focuses more on things like BDSM scenes. The actual CGL community is about personalities (and entire, real identities of individual people) and not taking roles to act as temporary characters. It sounds like you and this person are perhaps exploring a shared sexual kink or fantasy by role playing. That’s okay but that is not CGL. That is simply BDSM dark ageplay or an incest adult interest partnered with a diaper adult interest of some sort. A BDSM group can probably provide you some advice on how to flesh out your scene.

I don’t believe anyone here is going to want to be able to help you round out your adult interest character so that you can have a better sexual experience though. That just is not what this community is about. Our specific site also doesn’t really give sex advice since we focus primarily on educating about our identities rather that what sexually motivates us.

We are not actors or characters here. We are not playing in scenes or parts. There is a difference in what you’re talking about versus how we are describing and identifying ourselves. It’s okay if you want to roleplay, but you are incorrectly classifying your interest. Please consider educating yourself.
Look, quit comin in here prejudging. I stated that I fully expect this to lead to more. The diaper aspect is likely a kink, I'll give you that. But not the ageplay part. Sexually outside of maybe little dirty talk, ageplay in bed just sounds....wierd. Were you in love with your SO the first time you went on a date? Cuz I sure as hell wasn't. I'm not looking for sex advice.

Look, I'm out my fuckin head with the way I fuckin grew up. I got no legit parental rolemodels. Only examples of what *not* to do.

I asked the same question on another site and this is what I got. This is what I'm looking for.
I do recommend the traffic lights though as it give you and your Little one away of indicating your comfort zone and not come out of Little space.

For me the Role of caregive is to keep the adult world from crashing in on the you Little, to support them to keep regress in a child like head space. Or Little space.

It's your job to answer the door and telephone.

The second part is to ensure that your Little is drinking and eating.

You can have cooking as an activity. Let you Little one make a mess in the kitchen make something with you. Let them be covered in sope bubbles as they (help you do the washing up!)

As long as they can stay regress in the child like head space.
That's the kinda advice i was lookin for. Suppose I coulda been more specific about keeping the ageplay and the sex separate. but idk.
Oh and I woulda pm'd you that instead if that was an option. I hate causing public drama. I tried before posting.
I’m not “prejudging” so much as going by your choice of words. For example:
curiousvet wrote: 6 months ago We're talking a bunch online but not in character.
curiousvet wrote: 6 months ago
...though I expect I'd be in no mood to play a daddy for awhile after.
There is no character to be though if you’re identifying as a CGL Daddy and not just sometimes roleplaying as one whenever it is that you feel like it.

There is no “playing” as a Daddy if that is truly who you are as an individual. There may very well be different levels or degrees of expression, but there is no roleplay component in being a Daddy.

What you’ve described does not coincide with the real CGL community. It makes sense to short-term roleplaying scenes but not to personal identity. The CGL community is about personal identity—not roleplaying or temporarily acting a part. It’s okay if you want to roleplay as a parent every now and again but that doesn’t mean you’re a Daddy or even a part of the actual CGL community.

You are also fussing about having wanted to receive some advice that appears to be mostly related to sexual encounters (the “traffic light” system) in the BDSM realm. This is already something we address on our resources page as usage of safe words/stop words (note: the red/yellow/green light system is not really a safe choice).

There’s no sense in giving you generic advice for an “encounter” that might “lead to more” when you’re missing the very crucial base component to what you think you’re talking about. The advice you’re praising is massively generic and should’ve been a large part of your initial Daddy identity and feeling parental. You would gain more help by taking the time to read already available resources than to ask people to skim over these things for you. Please read all of our resources to get you started then. You won’t be sorry, and you’ll have a full understanding of your expectations as a true Daddy-type.

Being a Daddy to a little is uniquely expressing your affection and romance toward that individual, knowing that your atypical expressions are understood as being from your heart. It’s a special connection that should be cherished, fostered to blossom into its full beauty. If those feelings don’t pre-exist then you have to ask yourself what you’re actually, really doing and why you think you and the way you feel and express those feelings fall under a particular label.

You clearly need to educate yourself on appropriate terminology at least within the community. If you are a Daddy then that is who you are, not a character that you play as when you’re feeling like it.

Even using the word “playdate” doesn’t make sense to identifying yourself as parental in expressions. Parents don’t have “playdates” with children—not their own and especially not children that are not theirs. As of currently, using the notion that you—a Caregiver—will be having a “playdate” with a little suggests the “date” will be sexual in direction. That’s just how it’s typically interpreted within the community. It’s wording that needs to be corrected. You aren’t bad for using it, but it is bad phrasing that can be easily corrected to appropriately both better define your identity as well as respect the identity of a little who is expecting you to provide a special parental connection aside from the sexual moments.

I feel that there is a lot to learn about yourself and these unique identities before engaging intimately with others in the community.

So, I’m okay with you believing another site is better because they don’t think it’s important to correct others’ misunderstandings about the community. I’d personally rather address these educational moments. If you disagree with my choice then that’s also okay.

It seems like he wants to be your daddy! I wouldn'[…]

I'm still living with my parents, so no little roo[…]

There is no age limit on being a little. It’[…]

I absolutely understand this question, but we aren[…]