Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge.
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By Deleted User 64764
#56047
Hey all!
I have recently talked with my spouse about my need to be little. It has been weighing on me heavily for 2 years now when I first came across littles. He is being very supportive and wants to be a caregiver for me during these times. However, I’m so new and i haven’t tried anything, i want to get into little space desperately but i don’t know how to get there. I feel I am going to need help from my spouse, but don’t know what to ask for. Can you guys give me some ideas? I’ve mentioned to him the idea of making me food and watching cartoons and purchasing some toys but it’s still hard because it feels, idk awkward with him? I guess I’m nervous he is going to judge me so I’m having a hard time. How can I relax enough to let go? Any ideas? Thanks I’m advance!
#56048
Hello!

Finding the community is, for most, an exhilarating discovery!

We think that the best way to help your spouse help you is by helping yourself first. We understand that there is safety and comfort in your loved one, and that his encouragement can go a long way, but we feel it would be a fair ask for you to show effort in your interest. Just as you are new to exploring, so is he, and he may feel just as overwhelmed by everything Little.

We do recommend that you read through the articles, particularly Tips on how to get into littlespace and Self-Care Guide for Single Littles and Adult Babies. The second guide is tailored for unpartnered Littles, but it gives good advice on how to manage Littlespace as an individual.

Once you become more familiar with your likes, dislikes, preferences, wants, needs and limits, you can more easily approach your husband and let him know how you feel as a Little and have a better idea of different ways to engage. Identify the gaps of being a Little in private and take note of situations in which you have perhaps wanted his attention.

For example, let's assume your regression age is 5 years. Let's say you were playing with your toys in a safe and comfy spot. Perhaps you would have wanted your husband to come check on you and see if you were hydrated and generally playing safely. This would've elevated your experience, but by no means would it be the centerpiece of your own regression.

Another thing we want to mention is that you shouldn't be scared of that awkwardness. It's came fun to live through that, only to realize that there was no reason to feel awkward about! It sounds like you have a solid relationship with your spouse, and a little awkwardness here and there could spice up your relationship. Once you get past a hump you hardly ever go back to it. As you grow more comfortable with each other you become closer.

One last thing too! Perhaps we're reading too much into your post, but you give the impression that you believe regression is a magical place where you literally become mentally a child. As much as other sources may lead you to believe, this is simply untrue and impossible. Never should you let other people dictate how you should think and feel, especially when it comes to something as personal as who you are at heart. It may seem counterintuitive, but relaxation doesn't occur the same way for all, and it may be a skill you'll have to learn.

Ultimately, we think that you should be excited for yourself and just see it as something fun that (ironically) will help you grow as a person! Invest time and effort into yourself and it will absolutely manifest positively in your relationship.

Best of luck!

:bheart: :pheart: :pinkh:
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