Caregivers, Mommies, Daddies, adult babies, middles, babyfur, diaperfur, and all other Bigs and littles discuss regression, relationship dynamics, have open group conversation, share experienced advice, and exchange ideas to help one another grow in knowledge. (Age 18 or older only permitted)
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By Curiouslittle
#52787
I am very interested in the DD/lg dynamic. I have been researching it and it seems like the thing I’ve been missing, however some of the dynamics I read about are a little out of my comfort zone. Most things I’ve read make my heart flutter in anticipation, but others make me feel like I would not be a good little. How do I know if this is right for me?

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#52789
Based on your wording, I feel there is a misunderstanding here about something very important when it comes to who a little is within the CGL community.

Being a little is not something that's chosen. Please understand that our community is not about roleplaying or acting. Being a little is not something you start or stop being. This is a personality trait that a relatively small number of people were either born with or developed at an extremely early age. You cannot stop being who you are, and you cannot magically just pick up the psychological identity of someone else. It may seem cool, trendy, or easy but it doesn't necessary mean it's a part of you.

So, our community is about people with a rare personality type. When we talk about regression in the community being a personality type we mean that it is a core part of who you are as an individual. It means that most littles/regressors never experience their regression as a separate space and that often their littleness blends in with everyday life. A lot of active regression for a little happens in small subtle ways throughout everyday activities.
It's all about a personality type, a natural way of thinking and your unique characteristics, that extends far past the idea of immaturity. It's related to your natural behaviors, your logic and way of processing information, your emotional responses, what drives your habits and the choices you make, and just generally your base perceptions.

Regression is beautiful! :p7: It's also uncommon and atypical though. :alien:

It's much more than setting side some private time to drink from a sippy cup and roll around on your bed with stuffed animals. It's the driving reason why and how these activities are fulfilling to your core, to your soul. It's the moments where a little can fully express themselves and feel relief that they're not having to push back these feelings to appear "normal" to typical people their own biological age--because most littles have been taught to repress their trait in effort to "grow up" and conform with expectations. So, the moments where they do not have to force themselves to "act mature" can be a major relief, and it's in those times that a little may say, "I was regressed," or, "I was in littlespace." It doesn't mean that they did not always have that regression about them, it just means that for some period of time they no longer had a buffer on what they were doing in terms of self-expression.

Perhaps there is only a misunderstanding in language here though and what excites you is the idea of being able to freely express yourself and have a partner accept the parts that you've kept repressed for years. I can understand that notion and would still encourage you to explore the CGL community by continuing to seek out educational materials before diving into a relationship.

If you exist then a very special someone that is just right for you exists, but you have to know yourself before you're able to find them. Knowing both who you are deeply as a person and what you want in a partner beyond the surface first is going to be crucial in successfully, happy match-making. Just as you are special and unique in existing as you are, there is someone who is just as uniquely wonderful and special as your match! It might take a few trials and errors in finding that lovely person so do yourself a favor and prepare ahead of time so you can get some of the ick out of the way now. :you:

Not every person is the right match for you when it comes to building a relationship together. The same applies to CGL relationships. Not every Caregiver is the right Caregiver for you.

If you're not sure if you would be "a good little" to a Caregiver partner then you should explore your regression much more thoroughly so you can approach a potential romantic partner who you want to become your Caregiver with information about yourself, your expectations, and your desires as a little. It's important to give them the opportunity to talk with you about not only themselves but about you and how you two(+) fit together before you jump into putting all of your feelings on the line. You can't just start a relationship and expect your partner to do all of the investigating about who you are and what you like. It's a relationship just like any other relationship, and it's important to know who and what you're looking for so you can be fulfilled and not struggle so much to find joy in each other.

You do not need a Caregiver to be able to experience regression if you are a little. You can safely explore your personality on your own. To reiterate, you cannot become someone or something you aren't. This is not something you can choose. So, if you're a little then you have the capability to explore that without requiring another person to be around. That means you can explore your regressive traits before partnering up with someone so that you can talk about these things with them and help them also determine if you're a good match before pursuing something serious together.

A Caregiver is much like a parental sort of partner. The role of a Caregiver is often to mimic parenting or over-parenting of their partner, as if their partner is their child. They express love through this way, and that love is more valuable to the little since it often feeds into their feeling of natural regression. It's still an adult relationship though, and the two(+) people involved in the relationship are expected to work together to form the right bond together that works for them. There is no right or wrong way, really, to carry out a relationship, and CGL is no exception to that. That means there is no right or wrong way to be "a good little"!

It's important to keep in mind though that parents are not as hands-on and interactive to children when children are doing activities targeted to children. A lot of parenting is passive is what I'm saying.
So, logically, a Caregiver has a lot of passive moments where they are simply "accepting" the little in their regression. They are often "on standby" where they multitask another activity while the little colors, watches a fun movie, draws, listens to music and dances around, plays with their stuffed animals, coos or crawls, eats their fingerfoods, etc. When the little is not in heavy regression then the Caregiver takes on a more romantic role where they are essentially the persons boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.

What I'm coming to is that having another person around is absolutely unnecessary when it comes to fulfilling self-expression, and I would strongly encourage you to find the wholeness in your private expression rather than focusing on not having a secondary, passive person around. Once you explore yourself and have a strong understanding of your ultimate expectations and needs from a partner then you can find an appropriate match that is going to care about you as you are instead of having separate expectations for you to conform to based on their needs. The idea is to find someone who you can't really be "a bad little" to because you are naturally just right for them.

Lastly, if what excites you is a power dynamic relationship where there is a soft domination but expectations of submission then I would encourage you to seek out educational material within the BDSM community. CGL is not inherently tied to BDSM despite many members blending these two communities together in their own personal lives. There is nothing wrong with being a part of the BDSM community as well as the CGL community but you should be prepared to learn about both of these groups so you can gain an understanding of language and common expectations. Littlespace Online focuses on education about CGL only, and doesn't educate about how-to dominate or how-to submit in power-play dynamics.

You can find our educational materials here: http://www.littlespaceonline.com/viewforum.php?f=88

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