[GlitterNarwhal]

hi everybody(:

so, if you’ve seen some of my other posts, my mommy and i have had a bit of trouble figuring stuff out in the past because she’s a switch. we’ve been working things out, and i’ve tried to step into a bit of a caregiver role at times when she’s little. i’ve done things like give her some simple rules for structure, watch cartoons with her, just little caregiver-y things.
however, she has diagnosed ptsd from an even that happened when she was a teenager, and recently it’s gotten a lot worse because her attacker came back into her life for a few weeks (he’s been hospitalized and we shouldn’t have trouble from him ever again). this has made her ptsd very intense for the last couple of weeks, which has turned into over a month. when her ptsd gets very bad she often stays little for very long periods of time, and is very burntout whenever she is big. i am also extremely burntout because she expects me to be big when she is little, and when i’m little we tend to fight. but i went from being almost a full time little to being almost a full time caregiver. i don’t really know how to deal with it?
we’ve had quite a few conversations, i just don’t know what to do at this point. how do i respect her burnout and not make her feel obligated to care for me, while still giving myself the little time that i really need? and how do i make it so she can be little still but i don’t have such terrible burnout?

thank you guys so, so much! you’re all great~
stay safe wash your handssssss

(additional info: we are in an ldr. she lives in canada, i live in the states. we talk and facetime as much as we can but are both pretty busy so we end up texting a lot)

[Motherly]

how do i respect her burnout and not make her feel obligated to care for me, while still giving myself the little time that i really need? and how do i make it so she can be little still but i don’t have such terrible burnout?

Just as a very quick thought to resolution, it seems like a possible answer is to form an agreement to separately experience your regression without involving one another. You two would not tell the other when wanting to dive into regressive feelings either. Agree to not asking and not telling about your/her littlenesss. This would be a temporary situation that should be revisited at an agreed upon time, such as 30 days. At the X day mark you two would discuss if you’d like to extend the quietened regression and set a date to revisit the subject again or you would agree to incorporate it until a set date and discuss the re-integration of the regression being incorporated into your relationship.

Littles do not need a Caregiver to experience or express their regression. Neither of you need someone to take care of you to be able to enjoy your littlespace. You don’t need to inform anyone—including a romantic partner—that you previously regressed, and you can hold these desires back until an appropriate time—such as after a phone call. You don’t need anyone’s help or acknowledgement to take a little quiet time to yourselves.

A lot of times the solution to Caregiver burnout is to take a break from the CGL portion of the relationship.

You can give one another a break by agreeing to not discuss these experiences for a brief time. It will mean you have to prioritize your partner over your own desires by taking a CGL break in the relationship but that is definitely an option.

[GlitterNarwhal]

this is true! thank you for responding so promptly.
i completely understand your point, but it can be hard for me, at least, to not message her when i’m little, since i have very clingy tendencies and separation anxiety (as a result from a bad cgl relationship).
but thank you againnnn~ i’ll definitely bring it up with her. you always give such insightful responses admin!