Littlespace Online

I myself do because my biological father used to visit then the visits just stopped completely (I was hoping every day he’ll visit again then I started feeling hatred towards him in my early teens due to my maternal grandmother telling me bad things about him I felt hatred until I was informed of his death when I was 15/ almost 16 (died on April 1, 2017 but I was told before I went to get my picture taken for sophomore year)). Honestly the hatred was a mask(his death helped me realize that I loved him dearly).

Yeah. Mine stem from a lot of online relationships that just didn't work out. They weren't real. They were all RP but I had real feelings for those people. Now I'm hella jaded. Or closed off. One of those two. Sooo, I don't really bother getting close to anyone anymore cause if I were in a relationship I don't think it would last long.

I worry about abandonment all the time, it is almost ingrained in my being. I constantly worry that I will be left by everyone, family, friends and partners. I think for me it has a lot to do with my depression and anxiety... I just don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone for anything. I need lots of reassurances from those in my life that they actually enjoy being around me.

I only a baby when my biological mother gave me up

Very much so. I'm not quite sure where it comes from, but I definitely get scared of being abandoned and honestly start bawling when it happens.

Desphiria wrote: ↑3 years ago Yeah. Mine stem from a lot of online relationships that just didn't work out. They weren't real. They were all RP but I had real feelings for those people. Now I'm hella jaded. Or closed off. One of those two. Sooo, I don't really bother getting close to anyone anymore cause if I were in a relationship I don't think it would last long.

This is crazy. Back in middle school I had a RP group that served as my group of friends because no one in my MS would talk to me (it sucked). My parents found the account about a year in and forced me to delete instagram (the platform we interacted on most frequently) and I wasn't able to have access to the group until a couple years later. By that point, almost everyone from the group had retreated back into their corners of the world and internet, and there was only one girl from the group that was still active on their account by the time I came back around. To this day, both of us have no idea what happened to the rest of the group. I think about them more than I would have expected nine years later... and the knowledge that I'll likely never know where everyone ended up leaves me borderline despairing.
Losing online friends is probably one of the most difficult things, if only because of the ambiguity you're left with after everyone's gone. Sending you all of my love and appreciation. You're not alone.

Yesss \=I cry lots when left alone for extended periods of time

I do as well. I know it has a bit to do with my past. I had a lot of people who would use me and when they were done I would be tossed to the side or forgotten. It has become worse after having someone very important to me for years just up and vanish from my life. It was like they forgot about me entirely even though we made so many memories. After having them leave so easily and forget me so quickly it really hurt knowing that I meant absolutely nothing to them and that I was easily replaced.