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#16845
for some it may be "personal", for some it maybe "I've found someone else" but ultimately they made a choice, not a good one IMHO, but a choice none the less.
It's about the ability to summon the courage to say good bye, some guys find the feelings too intense, some find the feelings too awkward or that they perceive that someone has found out their little secret, the people I have met, who are real in this alt. lifestyle don't get spooked off easily, for them "it is what it is".
Star is correct, whether vanilla or kink, relationships come and go for a variety of reasons, we have to accept this and move on with our feelings hurt or our egos bruised, but one thing is for sure the community rallies when one of us is hurt, that's the reason we gravitate toward like minded people... security and understanding

its your life... live free!!
#17308
Here's my two cents as a new little with a Daddy who recently took a month off. We've only been together for a few months and he still texted me occasionally, but now he's back.
I personally think it's a lot of pressure to be a Daddy even if they like it. But when he's responsible for my well being he doesn't feel like he can let down his role to get support from me, to have me take care of him.
I think he got overwhelmed by the responsibility and didn't have someone to turn to so needed a break to get his head together.
Maybe someone less secure in themselves would feel all that responsibility and just decide to back off completely.
Its a huge commitment to be in charge of someone else's happiness.



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#31641
There's a lot of commitment there in the form of almost constant contact and affection. That can be daunting for some, especially if they're dealing with a 24/7 little. That responsibility and attention can become overwhelming for some, tenfold if they aren't open about their dd/lg interests with the people around them.


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#31840
I'm currently reading a book called HOME COMING by John Bradshaw. It's a therapy book about reclaiming your inner child. What's clear is that all people have an inner child. In a well adjusted adult the adult ego state and inner child ego state are fully integrated. But that is VERY rare. What this means is that the mast majority of men - especially Daddy's might have their own segregated inner child. Since the inner child is essentially the origin of Little's - more or less one and the same - it means many Daddy's have Little's too. Put it another way, Daddy's like to protect Little's because they are protecting their own little by proxy. The problem is, it doesn't work. They need down time to be their own version of little. So they burn out, go away, then start over. I'm only just starting to research this so I haven't quite joined all the dots. But it seems to me that Daddy's may need to explore whether or not they have their own little and if so, what they should do about it. I have one. Two actually. I'm a Daddy with two Little's or Inner Child's. I'm learning how to self care but I KNOW I cannot Daddy 24/7 because even though I have a very strong compulsion to Daddy, I also have my childlike moments and I need to know I can have them. It might be an idea to explore this in more detail. To ask how many Daddy's occasionally feel - for want if a better word - needy. And to see if this can become a fully-fledged caregiver topic to make sure Daddy needs are met so they're less inclined to run away.

By the way. I'm not saying this is the only reason. But I do suspect it is one of them. And I am not aware of its having been addressed.


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By StrawberryMonsterMix
#34896
I've never been ghosted, but I have been neglected towards the end of a relationship. Just blatant disinterest but still saying they want a relationship. It's one reason why I'm hesitant to get into another relationship, especially LDR, because I'm tired of the disinterest they develop over time. I put 100 percent in, and they put as much as they want that day into the relationship, and that leaves me feeling like I'm being annoying or I'm not being a good sub, or whatever. That, among other things, is why I warn people against LDRs. It's just annoying and hurtful.
#35021
Being new to this, I can only guess, but I think that most "disappearing daddies" are looking for a quick physically intimate fling and think that this lifestyle is an easy way to get it. Not realizing that you have to build trust between you and your partner.
#36247
This happened to me. And I agree with the person that said in Long distance situations it's easier for people to just walk away.
We had been together about a year, had visited in person 3 times. He wanted me to come live with him, but I want ready. I wasn't ready to leave home (I was 20). I want ready to be a babygirl 24/7, and I was very happy with the current situation. It tore me up, but I explained why I want ready, he seemed to understand.
3 days later he broke things off over instant messenger, wouldn't answer my calls. I was devastated, I was heart broken. I had changed so much and become someone different for him. I think I was in bed for a few days after, and a mess a while after that. It took a long time to get over it.
Then I found him online on a personals site about a year later. He was a little, seeking a Daddy. At first I was shocked, then it kinda made since. In hindsite I feel like he had tried too hard with me, that it wasn't really him and that why he was rushing into things. So it worked out for the best, just was very harsh at the time.
It's ok to dought yourself, or to discover you aren't who you thought you were, or to simply change your mind... But, if you cared for someone, even a little, you should talk and be honest. Submissives and little become very volnerable in serious relationships and power exchange, you can leave like any other relationship, but be sensitive about it.
On one level I understand and have moved on, on another I'm still harmed and nervous because of it. There's one song that still sets me off and it was 7 years and 3 Daddy's ago...

Be careful, be sensitive, be honest.
#42572
This is a hard one to pin down. Daddies just vanishing without a trace is an odd statement. From the flip side I have seen Littles disappear. Essentially people rather leave than just talk it out. I am too shy. I didn't know what to say. I was embarrassed all those things seem to come up. It comes down to communication and respect. You should know what questions are too much and what someone may or may not be ready for
#42582
BigPapa your perspective is awesome! Thank you.
I have been on the site for a very short time. One thing I have seen is a lot of acting. Not judging.This is a lifestyle. For some of us we are the way we are. Not just a choice. My Little and I were together 2.5 awesome and beautiful years. She lost her Little side somewhere along the way. I can't say why because I don't understand why. She disappeared by one simple text. Nothing face to face or dramatic. She made a choice as an adult. No calls emails or texts. End of conversation and the end of us.
But this happens in lots of lives. One piece of the internet seems that it's so easy to just move on to the next person and not work on what you have. We seem to be becoming a society of disposable hearts. I for one will remain who I am. Maybe there will be another Little in my life? Maybe not. Just remember when your heart is shattered into a thousand pieces. Someone else can help you build something beautiful with just one shard.
Love isn't always fair and doesn't always play nice. But if you find it it's worth the try.

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