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#54092
So I've been with my daddy for a little over three years now and I'm his first little, he didn't even know AB existed before me. He loved being a caregiver, he loves taking care of me, but he definitely doesnt want me to wear diapers. I should point out our little/caregiver relationship is completely nonsexual.

I've always wanted to try diapers. When I was first exploring my little side, years ago, I did the makeshift ones with a towel and a trash bag. I've bought depends that leaked right through. But that was before I had him.
I've had a lot of accidents while in my little space with him, he'll joke about me needing diapers but say it will never happen.

Should I try to push for them? I dont want to make him uncomfortable...we are going to disneyworld, and I really really really want to be diapered since I'm dressing little. But I need to test diapers before that so I can be confident I won't leak in public, so I need to be able to wear them at home. I'm not sure what to do

Has anyone else experienced a daddy who doesnt like diapers?
#54094
Hi there! I'm not sure how helpful I'll be since I'm not into diapers myself. However, I really think you should talk to your daddy. Even though you have this dynamic, you're still in a relationship and they require communication. Ask him why he doesn't want you in diapers. What about it does he not like or makes him uncomfortable. You obviously have a need for them, and you say your dynamic isn't physically intimate, do to me they're shouldn't be much of a problem. But I also don't know his reasoning. I would definitely suggest having that conversation with him. Hearing his side of things will help you better understand where he's coming from, and either you can agree and not wear diapers, or you can explain it in a way that alleviates his discomfort about diapers. Hope this helps! :heart:
#54095
Okay, there are a few thoughts I immediately have about this situation.

“Pushing” or pressuring your partner into something they’ve clearly stated is not okay with them is not something that should be happening. I understand it’s something you want, but you have to be respectful of your partner. Their disinterest is acceptable. They are uncomfortable and that’s valid.

Just ask yourself other scenarios about when it’s acceptable to push someone into something unnecessary so that another person fulfills a personal fantasy.
Would it be okay to pressure a partner into having sex after they clearly indicated they didn’t want to?
Would it be okay to push your partner into eating sushi if your partner clearly told you they don’t like sushi at all and never wanted to eat it?

Relationships do involve some compromise. A used diaper can definitely be unappealing to many people so this is a very understandable choice your partner is making. Even parents and nurses don’t typically enjoy changing diapers. It seems to me that a good potential compromise would be to ask your partner if he could accept you wearing diapers with no involvement on his part. This would mean that not only does he have no pressure to change your diaper but also doesn’t need to acknowledge the diaper. This could potentially remove whatever your partner doesn’t like about the diapers while allowing you to enjoy them.

If wearing diapers is a necessary component to your long-term happiness then you may want to consider if your partner is too. If so, then you will need to discuss acceptable potentials of compromises—not a one-sided push where you greedily get what you want despite your partners feelings. Perhaps it may come down to you wearing diapers very discreetly or something that isn’t your fantasy in full bloom but you can find happiness in a reasonable compromise.

Being logical may also really help in this situation. Being changed at Disney World is not likely as fantastical as you hope. You’d need to not only invest in quality diapers (which could take away from your souvenir budget) but also an adult sized changing mat, a kneeling mat for your partner if he wanted to change you, a durable bag for these supplies, and the willingness to wait in lines to use a private bathroom together. Diaper rash potential would be high, and you’d probably need a good diaper deodorizer by the end of the day. Perhaps thinking about the situation logically could help alleviate some of your internal pressure.

Feeling regressed—being in littlespace—is not a valid excuse to be urinating on yourself. Being a little is not and does not cause medical conditions such as urinary incontinence. Being a little does not erase the decades of being potty-trained. If you don’t experience urinary incontinence at any other time then you are flat-out lying about it having been an accident. If you do suffer from genuine urinary incontinence from time to time then you need to see a medical professional first and foremost because diapers aren’t going to diagnose and treat serious health conditions that can do serious damage over time.
As much as some may wish otherwise, feeling regressed doesn’t mean you forget how to function as an acceptable adult. You never literally become a child again on either a physical nor cognitive level.
Please stop trying to rope your partner into fantasies under the guise of “accidents”. This was massively disrespectful to do to someone you supposedly care about. Deceiving someone because you can just isn’t right.

A part of being a little is definitely that you’ve grown up learning how to act as an adult despite not connecting with adulthood or typical maturity. While you may occasionally or frequently feel in the mood to act out more childishly than at other times you do not forget what you’ve learned. Please be honest with yourself and don’t pretend that you become someone else when you feel childlike in mood.

If your house caught fire and you were home alone while feeling very regressed then would you forget how to appropriately respond and accidentally burn alive or would you act accordingly, open the front door, and save yourself by running outside?

I hope the conversations with your partner go well and you find your compromises that make your relationship better for you both.
#54127
Dude it's not that serious lol, I said I dont want to make him uncomfortable at all. I'm not being greedy, I've never worn one in front of him because he doesnt like it, once he said he didn't want it I didn't bring it up again.
You painted me as this terrible, uncaring person and frankly it was uncalled for. I would never do anything to make my partner uncomfortable. I was simply asking if anyone else has dealt with this, because he wasnt even into littles at first, but now he loves this type of relationship, so I wasnt sure If I should try to make him see diapers too.
Thank you for calling me a greedy liar though, very helpful.
I do suffer mild urinary incontinence due to a medication, which seems to be worse when I feel regressed. So you can comfortably know I'm not lying about that.
#54128
Hi, Dude! :hi:

I believe you need to read your original post in this topic again:
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: Daddy Doesnt like diapers
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: 4 years ago ...but he definitely doesnt want me to wear diapers.
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: 4 years ago ...he'll joke about me needing diapers but say it will never happen.
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: 4 years ago Should I try to push for them?
In my opinion, that sounds like you aren’t considering the need to respect your partners comfort levels and boundaries that you are clearly aware of.

Even here in your reply you come off as disrespecting boundaries when you take into account the statements above that you made about him and his choices:
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: 4 years ago he doesnt like it, once he said he didn't want it I didn't bring it up again.
DaddysLittleMuffin wrote: 4 years ago I wasnt sure If I should try to make him see diapers too.
You admit then that you are actually asking if any other little has “pushed” their Caregiver into doing something the Caregiver has expressed complete disinterest in doing with the little. “Making” someone do something they genuinely don’t want to do—and have told you they don’t want to do—isn’t cool. It’s my opinion that pressuring your partner into letting you overstep their clearly defined and expressed boundaries is wrong, disrespectful, and, yes, greedy. This boundary seems very reasonable to me, and it seems selfish to want to overturn it when the boundary actually doesn’t have to effect you. Trying to “convince” your partner to remove their personal boundary for strictly your own benefit and enjoyment is not okay.

Also, perhaps you’re unaware but I can view the public, group chat room. Yesterday morning you announced to the chat room that it was your very first day wearing diapers and that you were excited that you were getting to try them out. It would seem strange to me that you claim to have an existing condition of urinary incontience enough to require adult diapers yet you are just now using them. I honestly don’t care if you do or don’t have a medical need for diapers, but I feel it’s wrong to use such a claim to force your partner into engaging in some sort of diaper scenario, fantasy, or play with you.

Lastly, again, regressing should not ever exacerbate, contribute to, or cause a medical condition. Regression (“littlespace”) is more of a mood and externalized personal expression and is not a mental or physical health condition. It isn’t an illness and doesn’t cause illness. Please see a doctor if a mood you’re experiencing and feelings you’re choosing to express are causing you to lose control of your bladder. Please see your doctor about medical conditions and any changes that you notice with them because they can point to more serious, underlying concerns that left untreated can do serious damage to your one and only body. You are young with a lot of life to live so please don’t ignore issues or worsening of conditions by self-managing without seeing a doctor first.

I understand that you were hoping for only responses that sided with making sure your desires would be fulfilled but that’s not how it works. I’ve given you my honest views, thoughts, and suggestions. While I may have lacked some softening up of words I did come in full honesty in hopes of promoting the life and happiness of your self and your relationship. I’m not being hostile and you don’t have to respond aggressively either.
I can only know what you post in the way you choose to word the postings so I understand that I don’t know all of the nitty gritty details of your private relationship. I know it seems that we’re just strangers on a message board but I’d like to think of us as long-distant friends who are just looking for some solid, honest advice. We’re just people trying to live happy lives while supporting our community friends, their relationships, and our future as a healthy group.

P.S. Hey, Friend, could you please not refer to me as “Dude” in the future? It’s a masculine word and I’m a female. I know I’m just being nitpicky but I felt like it’d do no harm to ask you to change just one word in our future exchanges. Thank you so much.
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