- 7 years ago
#27000
I think it all comes down to trust and mutual respect.
I will tell you a bit of my story, and discovering how my little was a little and how I am a Daddy.
I didn't know that my little was a little, nor did I know that I was really a Daddy, until about two months after we began traditional dating. We knew we were head over heels in love with each other, and I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life making her happy already. Yet when Mimi told me about her little side, it came as a bit of a shock. She explained to me that she had been exploring her little side alone for the better part of twelve years, but had never had a DDlg relationship, and had never come out about her little side to anyone before because she felt as though whomever she told would leave her. Knowing, however, that I was absolutely in love with her, I knew that it must mean I was in love with every part of her, and though it took me a couple of days getting used to the idea, I agreed to spend time with her while she was in little space.
I will admit, at first I found it to be bizarre, seeing someone who I knew only as an adult woman in her late twenties regress to a child of seven or eight, but the more time we spent together while she was in little space, the more I realized how much I truly loved her, how much I absolutely adored every last piece of her, and how much I needed her to need me. Additionally, I was so deeply honored that she trusted me so completely to share a side of herself that she had never shared with another before.
Within a short time, I realized how absolutely blessed I was that I had become her Daddy, that she had allowed me to be such an important part of her life, and I was thankful that she had shown me this part of myself I never knew that was so deeply fulfilling. Understand, our lives did not completely revolve around her little space or the DDlg aspects of our relationship--while she began to go into little space on a regular, daily basis, our life as an adult couple also continued on: we both went to work, we went out with friends, spent time with our families, all the while maintaining what could be seen as a very traditional dynamic in public view. We moved in together, we got married, and we were happy, all the while compartmentalizing our lives so as to function in "normal" society (I hate that word, btw). We turned one of the rooms of our home into her little bedroom/play space that was not exactly hidden from others, but was not made to be in plain view. And when we came out to people we knew, we only did so to those we knew we're open and understanding and wouldn't judge (the ones who only concerned if we were happy). We did begin to socialize with others in our area who were living the lifestyle (look up "munches" online to find gatherings of Cg/l's in your area), and making friends (and play dates) with others who fully understood, as well as becoming a part of a greater community, made a huge impact on our life together.
We lived like this for two years, the happiest two years of our lives, until she fell ill suddenly and passed away...and had she not gotten sick, I know we'd happily live this way still.
You have many options available to you, but first remember that you're not alone and you are not weird or strange or in any way deviant...you are who you are, and as long as you always try to be your best self, then you ARE your best self, and that is all you ever have to be. If you want to explore a Cg/l relationship from the get go, then introduce yourself to your local Cg/l community, get to know them, and perhaps you will find a matched caregiver there. You can also try online, but I can say I have any real experience in that arena--just make sure to take your time, because the internet is sadly full of predators, and it may be harder online to distinguish between a true caregiver and someone who seeks to take advantage of you for your differences. You can also do what my darling Mimi did--date traditionally as your biological age, and if you find someone you truly trust, someone who you absolutely loves you no matter what, you may be able to come out about your little side and, maybe, find that they, too, have a side to them they hadn't previously known.
Regardless, before you ever attempt any relationship of this sort, be it with an experienced caregiver or with someone outside the community, be sure you trust them completely...and you'll be surprised. Those who truly EARN your trust will not disappoint you.
I wish you good luck in your search for love and happiness!
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