[TomaterHater]

Hey everyone,
I wanted some advice and maybe just talk about feeling very dominant and wanting to be a caregiver but still feeling submissive in some aspecs. I like being in charge in a sfw (setting rules, being parental, giving rewards and punishments) but I feel quite submissive in the nsfw sense. I like being in control sometimes, having a little right where I want them but most of the time when it comes to anything physically intimate I like being submissive a lot lot more than being dominant. I like receiving a hard spanking and being humiliated a touch more than I like dishing it out. Is it possible to be a dominant role like a caregiver but be submissive sexually?

[MommaStrange]

I'd argue that the caregiver position isn't actually a position of dominance anyway. I don't feel dominant at all but I'm a Mommy. I do like to create structure and rules, but generally I like to provide and "do" for my partner. I'm not a disciplinarian and don't find reason to punish. I'd be more apt to scold and correct a little verbally than spank them anyway. I don't pair well with littles who want a lot of correction.

I'm comfortable with taking care of someone's needs, creating routine for them, and managing adult responsibility like household chores and finances. I guess it's sort of like what you said about being comfortable with the parental role. Maybe you and I are very similar in that way.

Taking care of a little is nearly servitude for me, but I tend to pair with littles who regress more often and deeper than most in the community. If I'm changing messy diapers off of an adult's bottom, preparing and presenting meals for them to eat, working a full-time job so that they can stay regressed as often as they like, and managing their routines so that they can lead happy, fulfilling lives for themselves then that isn't me being dominant. That's just me taking care of things for them. It's like serving them and that is usually seen as a submissive term. Maybe you feel that way too.

I'm not dominant when it comes to sex either, but sex is a tricky topic for me anyway. I don't relate to wanting to be submissive in the traditional sense like you, where you want to be spanked, but I don't want to spank or be aggressive at all. It's a tender moment to me where I want to take care of the needs of my little, but I'm not comfortable with any sort of aggressive dominance during it.

It's okay to be sexually submissive yet parental outside of that, but you should make that clear when finding a little if you're in the process of doing that. Some people may misunderstand because everyone keeps saying caregivers are dominant, dominant, and dominant. Some little will match you more than you think they could though and they'll be just as happy having those moments with you. Just try to be very clear and upfront when searching within the community.

Maybe people have misconstrued the concept of being a caregiver. Maybe it was just easier to say that parents are usually authority figures over their children and that's assumed dominance. Real parents aren't always overbearing and authoritative though. Most decent real parents have a habit of spoiling their children and often say things like they'd go above and beyond for their children, want to give them the world or what they never got to have, want to help them grow to have good lives. Those aren't really statements of dominance. Caring about and for somebody doesn't have to be a dominant or submissive thing anyway.

There's not anything wrong with the idea of being a caregiver and also being a submissive person in or even out of the bedroom.

[Bigbear110]

Caregiver/Dom is different in my own opinion I would suggest considering becoming a Dom. If your sexually sub!isive maybe even a switch that you could be sexually sub!isive to another cafe giver? Do some homework and think about it ibhopenit all works out -bb

[LostGirlZ]

A caregiver can absolutely be sensually submissive! I'm a little, but I'm also a switch and a weensy sadistic. ...A little sadistic? Muahaha!

I personally would not want to be the top in the bedroom all the time -- or even most of the time, I think -- but that's just me. There are littles out there who would love to humiliate their bad bad cg-type person and make them squirm.

It may not be a common thing, but it is most definitely a thing. Get on with ya bad self!