New to age-play RP, ashamed due to past
Posted: |April 18th, 2021|, 8:47 pm
Hello all. I am very new to this community as well as this lifestyle. A little about myself before I go into why I am feeling the way I am. ..
I've been sexually assaulted as a child, and I never received the proper therapy or help I needed to cope with it all my life. I'm now much older now, and I recently discovered Age-play RP online. I of course have been RPing with other consenting adults and have enjoyed it. But, guilt sets right in afterward and I feel so sick about it like there is something extremely wrong with me and that I'm not okay. It really started to affect me where I even felt suicidal this past two weeks about it.
I do plan to seek therapy anyways as I do have other mental health issues that need to be addressed, and this is also something I wanted to bring to the therapist, has anyone else discussed this with their therapist at all? But I'm struggling with how I feel because when I'm RPing as a little or with others RPing a scenario about a fictional little it still causes me mental distress.
It's something completely still new to me and the fact that I get aroused from it scares me more.
Everything I do during RP is strictly fantasy and nothing more, I would never condone the actual act of hurting another being.
I do have a S/O, and I have recently discussed with them how I am feeling, but I know they're very confused by it still but they've also been emotionally supportive about how I've been feeling..
Has anyone else felt this way or feels this way? How did you cope with it? I do apologize for the large ammount of text I just feel very alone in how I am feeling about all of this.
I've been sexually assaulted as a child, and I never received the proper therapy or help I needed to cope with it all my life. I'm now much older now, and I recently discovered Age-play RP online. I of course have been RPing with other consenting adults and have enjoyed it. But, guilt sets right in afterward and I feel so sick about it like there is something extremely wrong with me and that I'm not okay. It really started to affect me where I even felt suicidal this past two weeks about it.
I do plan to seek therapy anyways as I do have other mental health issues that need to be addressed, and this is also something I wanted to bring to the therapist, has anyone else discussed this with their therapist at all? But I'm struggling with how I feel because when I'm RPing as a little or with others RPing a scenario about a fictional little it still causes me mental distress.
It's something completely still new to me and the fact that I get aroused from it scares me more.
Everything I do during RP is strictly fantasy and nothing more, I would never condone the actual act of hurting another being.
I do have a S/O, and I have recently discussed with them how I am feeling, but I know they're very confused by it still but they've also been emotionally supportive about how I've been feeling..
Has anyone else felt this way or feels this way? How did you cope with it? I do apologize for the large ammount of text I just feel very alone in how I am feeling about all of this.