- 5 years ago
#50075
I've struggled with self-esteem for years. I thought it would all be better once I got a boyfriend (It's very hard for me to talk to people so my current daddy is my first relationship). In some ways, it has helped but in others, I feel much worse. Every time I fail at something now, I freak out and panic because my daddy is so magical, he deserves a girl who is good at things. Today is his birthday and I decided to bake him peanut butter blossom cookies and make him a bike bag, among other things. I made the bike loops too short to fit his bike so it looks very bad now because I had to add extra stitches to the middle. And I tried 4 different cookie recipes but they turned out badly each time. They're like pancakes. He deserves the best gifts and I've screwed it all up!! I can't stop crying, so I haven't had time to fix up the house or get dressed up all pretty for him or anything and now my eyes are swollen so he'll worry about me instead of focusing on himself. I feel so defeated and the thought of seeing him today makes me feel sick. He deserves so much more. I can't even bake a batch of cookies. If anyone else here has experienced this feeling of being unworthy of your partner and overcame it, how did you do it? I know I need therapy but some advice to help in the meantime while i work up enough money would be greatly appreciated. XX