[Princessstassie]

Hi all, I am here from sincere advice since I don't know where else to go. Me and boyfriend just became official and I had told him that I was into ddlg and AB well before we decided to go official. He is the only person I ever told and it was extremely emotional and hard on me to do it. I told him that if it ever got out it would ruin me. I am just finding out now that he told some of his friends a while back. For a while we used to get into a bedtime routine where he would put me to bed or naps all the time and he would be my daddy and I was his baby girl. He turned out loving it which is great but apparently he told some friends that we used to participate in it and told them I was the one who got him into it. He kept saying he would have never told anyone but I am just finding out now that he did and he has lied about it ever since. I don't know what to do since I love him so much and know how sorry he is and that he'd never tell anyone again but at the same time I feel so betrayed. If anyone has advice that'd be great.

[IM_A_PRINCESS]

Sorry for the hard love but no one has responded.


You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are. It was not right of him to tell them that when you had discussed it in confidence but if it is who you truly are there shouldn't be a problem unless you are uncomfortable with the path you have chosen. You are also not saying in which context he has said it. He could have a friend who is into it and they came across the conversation. He could have been defending your situation or supporting it. If you feel betrayed then you have to get out of the relationship as I assume you are questioning everything you say and do now. Find someone who suits your needs and can keep your relationship, YOUR relationship.

[deerest]

I disagree with im_a_princess - I think you can accept who you are but still not want your peers to know about what you do in the bedroom. Outing someone is not cool. It can damage their professional, personal, and family lives.

That said, I think you need to talk with him about who he told and what he said to them. If he told them because they're also into ageplay, or their partners are, that's a little different than just telling people for the heck of it. Either way I know it really hurts to have someone like your daddy break your trust like that I hope you can talk things over and build up your sense of trust again.


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[Ami]

Trust has been violated and the worst bit is that it was by choice.

How you handle that is up to you.. for me it would stand a very real chance of ending the relationship as it was a conscious and premeditated choice to break your trust. You really need to speak to your partner about this and insist on transparency. It is important to know why this happened and if it is a solitary incident. He evaluated his options and made a choice to tell his friends.

That said, nothing excuses breaking someone's trust, especially intentionally. Trust is the foundation for every relationship. Whether you can move on from this or not, whether you can trust this person or not is up to you. He not only told others knowing it could ruin you, but as you said he continued to lie about it. He should also explain why he made that choice.

If your relationship is to continue, you need to understand the "hows and whys" and be sure it won't happen again. Questions you might want to ask yourself is can you trust him again and if so, what would it take to rebuild that trust?
He did the wrong thing, in the past he didn't decide to come clean and "make good" on the situation, he concealed it. Sadly, he might also be too immature for an adult relationship.

I am genuinely sorry for your experience with this.