[972T]

I'm shy and very reserved, but I've been wanting to meet people with whom I can connect.
I only have one online friend who I've known for years. In real life people like me but I never try to get closer to anybod mostly out of fear. And finding someone who is into the little community is even more scary. I suck at online anything. I tried to use this site to find someone with whom to talk, but because I'm so shy online I just feel I've been wasting my time. With all that is hard I'll ever met a guy with whom to fall in love. Even just friends are hard to make. Any advice? Any encouragement? Anyone even responding? (Is pretty clear my self esteem sucks)

[Lilpupjayden]

I'm in the same boat as you, and I was sort of hoping that you'd have gotten some advice I could use. I'll still give you my best attempt at some advice. Don't give up. That's what I keep telling myself. Even if your first few attempts at socializing go poorly, that's something to use as a learning experience for next time. Some people have social skills come naturally, but if you're anything like me you've had to learn them. And like learning anything new, it takes time and effort.

[GentlemanDaddy]

Hello, Little I know you must feel so alone because of the way you feel about yourself. I believe we all go thru that at some point in our lives, but some have a harder time with this issue. I'm an older DD and have had a few baby girl/baby boy and littles both boys and girls with the same issue. This started back in your early childhood if you try you will remember what things or persons caused you to doubt yourself. Start there, the way to remove those thoughts or events is to replace them with positive reinforcement. Think of anyone in your life that know you are a good person and self-confident.

Secondly, start every day by saying "good morning to yourself and smiling" I know you might think its weird but believe me the corniest thing works doing over and over. You have to use words that are positive and stop using negative words like I can't, maybe, I suck at? I learned early in my life that if I didn't love myself how could I expect others to love me.

People have a misconception that if they don't take the risk of loving or seeking out relationships, then they will avoid getting hurt or worse getting rejected by someone. As the old cliche like you can't have good without evil, same with love, you have to know how to hurt and be hurt in order to love. If I told you how many times someone has pulled out my heart and throw it away, you would probably ask me why I even bother to look for love over and over.

Huaman being, grow through challenges and at times misfortunes, bad experience with other and the list goes on. You can and will overcome every single one as long as you love yourself and trust in someone to tell you everything is going to be all right.

I am going stop here so I don't overwhelm you all at once, baby steps, baby steps is the way to go.

You have a friend here now that you can talk to at any time.

[972T]

Thanks trying. Nothing said that I didn't expect already. I just don't want to love myself when myself means nothing to me. (You can of get what I mean) I don't really care. I gave up long age. I'm only trying to find someone that might gibe me that love that was denied by father that never care and didn't saw since I was a baby. He didn't die, he had money while my mom didn't. He just didn't care and growing up with that made me not to care either. So all I care is videogames. They're all about someone else who I actually care about. (Not always. Some characters you rather they die) I could just die and it would probably give me peace. I'm only still living and still trying to stay alive because of stupid fading small hope and human survival which avoids that I put a knife in my neck. Hopeless. Not worth it. I'll definitely eliminate this account (if the site doesn't do it first) but thanks for trying. Sorry for using you into trying to make me feel something. But it only made it more clear how much I hate myself. I'll try to stick to videogames like I've been doing so far. I want to be a little but at the same time I don't see why. Anyway. This is just expected. Me disappointing in one way or another. (I'm actually just playing with all of you. I feel somewhat guilty but then you decided to read and I don't care if I'm hated. I have a self destructive personality after all. Last person you want to get close to even though I put on this character that people at my job love but is just a side personality that is convenient for working. I'm hopeless and very insane. Just run away. Stop reading. Is obvious I'm just experimentinG.)

[GentlemanDaddy]

972T
I hear what you are saying loud and clear, I understand about your childhood and about the outcome because of someone not putting you first. Video games are nice and they do help redirect your thoughts if only for the time you are playing. I also know that there is nothing I can say to you that will help you right now. All I can say is hang in there.

Best regards