[Myflutter]

Hello everyone! My name is Flutter and I was wondering if I could receive some help from some experienced littles and caregivers.

So, I've always known that ddlg has existed, but I never really KNEW about it, as in I never understood the concept of it. It always brought me discomfort because when I was a child, some really bad things happened to me because of my uncle—things that I don't want to go into detail about—so it concerned me as to why people would act as children and be taken care of by a "daddy" or "mommy" figure all the while being in a physically intimate relationship (I know now that it's not always physically intimate). I always thought it was some sort of weird kink (no offense) and like other uninformed people, I thought it glorified child involvement, which made me angry and upset because of what I mentioned with my uncle. Though recently, I started reading fanfics about ddlg and/or cglg (sorry if my terms are incorrect, I'm still learning) and I still thought it was weird but cute at the same time? I think that's when I started coming out of my bubble of ignorance.

So after that first attempt, I read a fic about a nonsexual relationship with a little and a caregiver, and I found myself relating to the reader a lot. Such as when she would be called sweet names like sugar, princess, and baby girl, or even when she would enjoy laying with her stuffies in bed. I found myself becoming very giddy and happy during moments like those, and I slowly began wanting a relationship where I was nurtured and cared for in the same manner. Being cared for and loved has always been what I wanted, but I didn't know to which extent it was. I've never been in a relationship before (19 years single and going strong lol) but I've noticed that in a "normal" relationship, both parties are mature, one isn't babying the other, and if they are then I guess the babied partner is just lucky to have someone so caring and willing to take so much responsibility? If that's not the case then they are in a ddlg I guess? Idk I'm still really new to this so don't bash me if I'm wrong.

I ended up doing more research into the little and caregiver dynamic and I searched "how do I know if I'm a little?" There were some things on there that resonated with me, like enjoying watching kids shows, liking cute and colorful things, dressing up childishly, etc. I've always been told that I act a bit childish, but I'm also pretty mature for my age as well. There are time when I feel like I simply cannot handle the adult life (I'm barely even there and some times I break down) and there are times when I deeply crave to have someone there to cuddle with me and tell me everything is okay, or for them to take the wheel for at least a day. I love stuffed animals, always have, and I used to be ashamed of it, but who is too young to have cute little stuffies? I remember when I tried showing my friend my newest stuffed animal that I named Lemon, and he looked at me very weird and started laughing nervously. He then said I act very childish, but that it was cute. I was kind of offended, but it left me thinking, "Am I childish?"

Whenever I run into something cute, I go wild and just stare for hours and contemplate how I'm going to have it. I have always loved cute and colorful things, and even when I was fifteen and showed my friend all the cute things I wanted, and even he told me "Don't you think those are a bit childish?" I was mad and upset. I didn't really have anyone to sequel to these things about so I guess I just suppressed it, and it only came back once I got into college. I dress more frilly, I love skirts, I love putting my hair into pigtail puffs (I have really curly African-American hair) and I like giving myself make up that makes me look cute and innocent I guess—such as doing Igari style blush, wearing red lip tints, and wearing circle classes to soften my face. I even want to get myself circle lenses because they are very pretty and can make my big eyes look even bigger lol. There was even a time where I went to the store with my mom and little sister who is 7, and there was a monster high doll (Draculora, my favorite) that I really wanted but my mother said no and that I'm too old to be wanting these things, but as soon as my little sister picked up a toy for herself, my mother bought it for her, which really upset me :L

I don't know if I'm a little, or just a person who enjoys cute things and childish things, but I really hope I'm a little. I don't know exactly why, but after discovering more about the lifestyle and looking at Tumblr posts and Instagram tags, I've started feeling like I was at home with people that will accept me. Even now, I feel really happy to be on this site with the potential of making so many friends that like the same things as me, but then I think of all the other aspects of little space. I don't care for the pacifiers, I don't care for the sippy cups, I don't care for coloring books, but I love to draw, I love the Lolita fashion and lifestyle (I want my own shop one day), I love anime, I love video games, I love MLP, Monster High, Steven Universe, I love colorful things, I love cute things, and I love to be cuddled and cuddle someone else, and I love to be taken care of, and guided, and told what is right from wrong. Even thinking about having a caregiver/daddy makes me feel safe and happy. But then again, I don't think I have ever gone into little space, so how can I call myself a little?

I don't remember a time in which I have ever "slipped" into little space. How do you know when you slip? I have squealed and been happy about cute and childish things before, but I've never considered that little space? I wanted to say maybe middle space, but I'm 19 so wouldn't that overlap?? Or maybe being a little and/or middle is just so infused with my personality that I don't have to slip into it, because I'm basically there all the time? This is where things get confusing for me, and why I'm not sure if I can even call myself a little. It makes me sad to think that I cannot be one, but I don't want to be taking on a title that is not for me. My mother has told me that I have always been more independent, even when I was a kid. I don't dress cutesy all the time, sometimes I dress gothic, punkish or even pastel goth. And even me myself likes to be motherly and take care of those I love (though not to the point where I can be a mommy caregiver, I could never take on such responsibility so kudos to all you mommies and daddies out there ^_^) so if I were to ever have a caregiver, wouldn't I make him unhappy because I don't act as little as all the others?

I'm really sorry if this was a long post, but hopefully, you guys take the time to read and answer my question. If you have read this far, thank you so much and I'm really sorry if your eyes have started burning because of it >_<

[LittlePoet]

It sounds like you might be a middle. However you don't have to enjoy paci's and sippy cups and all that in order to be a little. You actually sound a lot like me in a way. With being mature for your age and taking care of other. I just turned 19 as well. For me this is why I enjoy being little so much and why it helps me, bc I don't get the same care that I give to others and I really need. Now about littlespace I'm not sure whether or not middles go into little space which is why I think you might be a middle. However you are also new to this so you could be a little and maybe you just haven't found your littlespace, or what helps you get into littlespace. Now about your caregiver, they will in no way be unhappy if you're not as little as others. Everyone has a different little age, some people go as high as 10. For me I don't go any higher than 6, but that doesn't mean anything. Some people go as low as 1 or 2. Then you might be a baby though, but that's entirely up to you. Anyways your caregiver will love you no matter your little age, bc they love you for you. Not for little you even though they'll still love little you it's big you that they fell in love with. I hope this helps you some and please feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more.

[CynicalSweetheart]

As LittlePoet suggested, you might be a middle. I thought I was a middle for a little bit but then I found my daddy and found out I'm a little. For me personally, it takes the right caregiver to bring out the little side of me. I was always the care taker in my previous relationships so I never got to explore the little side of me. I never thought I would be a little and didn't understand the DDLG lifestyle for a loooooong time, but then I met my daddy and he showed me what it was really about. It was a slow process at first and it took me a while to experiment and explore, but now that I have I love being a little!

If you'd like to talk more, feel free to message me!

[sleepypersonality]

I agree with CynicalSweetheart and LittlePoet, but I'm new to this as well and my little space is still developing as well. I'm communicating with a caregiver at the moment and he's walking me through the basics. I suggest you experiment with stuffies or even Handheld children's games like pokemon if you have it. That's what's helping me along with research and talking to this experienced caregiver.

For example, my littlespace is just that, Pokemon with Mr. Teddy in my lap watching me. I'm thinking about trying coloring with my left hand (non-dominate) to make me feel more child-like. I haven't tried it yet, though.

[LittleBot]

Ohhh I relate so hard to this! I won't go into too many details Myflutter but I had a similar child experience that I also would rather not get into...and it negatively shaped my opinions about CGL for a long time. Only recently did I get a glimpse into the "Little Space/CGL" world and not a 'perceived kink'. That glimpse kinda blew the doors wide open and let me understand a lot about myself. Some things I want to share with you.

The first big one is labels don't shape who you are, and maybe wont fit right. You say you aren't sure that you can call yourself a little and it makes you sad, but I think that thought process tells me you are a little. You feel little, maybe not all the time but thats how you feel in your heart. This "Little Title" is something that you can pick for yourself based on how you feel and is completely up to you. If you feel little sometimes, and want to be a little or feel like the title fits you then I think the "Little Title" is just right

Everyone is Different. I like my pacis & sippys but I feel like my little age is more around 7. Most 7 year olds aren't running around with pacis and are weening off their sippys...but I like them. In my little space they make me feel happy and safe. So I can watch South Park, cuddle my stuffies, and drink juice from my sippy and be completely content. Not everything you do has to be in a specific age range to be considered "Little Stuff" Just enjoy what you like to do; like watching Steven Universe with Draculora

Little space is also defined by you. I know you said you don't remember "Slipping into Little Space" as some other members have also described, but I've found that little space is very personal. You can't force yourself to be little just like you can't force yourself to be big. Its gonna depend on what you feel like and are doing then. And you can go from there. You also don't have to be little all the time. Some people like living in a little life style all the time, others like living big with little space time. You don't have to conform anywhere to fit in the category.

You also said something about you aren't always interested in little things, dress opposite of little like goth, and do not little things. I'mma baby bat Which has 2 meaning. 1) Baby Bat commonly refers to a person new to goth culture or style. 2) A gothic little. I like dressing goth even when I'm little. I LOVE Rick and Morty, South Park, Death Note and other shows that a bunch of little little's may not want to watch. I also play Dead by Daylight while watching Sophia the First (Yes I really do this lol it is hilarious and fun) Its all weird, but its all fun too and I feel like I can be a little, in and out of little space. I can enjoy myself with little and big things. No matter how weird everything seems.

I hope this helps at all. I really like you Feel free to message me or something I like talking to people and making friends