[koba]

Frankly, I really need to get this off of my chest. Its been about a month and a half, and I still am questioning my actions in this, and probably will until the day I die. In short, I lost the love of my life because of bigotry on the part of her grandparents.

First, a little background so we can all appreciate just what pieces of snailpoop her grandparents were; She has previously told me what she is comfortable being shared, and what she is not. Keep in mind, this is not the full story; she has had a hard life, and some of that is private, which I 100% respect, and thus will not be sharing in a public setting.

Her mother was 15 when she was born; her father was 20. Her grandparents pushed charges on her father, despite the fact it was 100% consensual, and destroyed his life because they didnt approve of a minor age difference. He didnt actually serve time, but they successfully stole every parental right he had from him, and got him on a sex offenders registry. He eventually put his life together, but he wanted nothing - absolutely nothing - more than to be in his daughters life. Im sure anyone here can appreciate that. Eventually, it all became too much for him, and he intentionally caught HIV and refused to take medication because he thought he had so failed his daughter, the woman I love, that he deserved a torturous death. She never met her father.

Her grandparents were viciously abusive to her mother, her mothers two sisters, and her mothers brother. Grandfather was a high ranking cop in Dallas (in charge of narcotics), and because of that, despite multiple CPS calls to their house (over 20), nothing was ever done to protect any of them. Her grandparents kept their children in a cage; they werent allowed to move out on their own. every single one of them had to sneak out in the middle of the night when they eventually left. Her mother is the main focus of this paragraph, however. She was living under tyrannical rules; she wasnt allowed to see her daughter unless she followed them. She wasnt allowed to leave their trailer, ever, without one of her parents accompanying her. she wasnt allowed to date, she wasnt allowed to go to college (despite being accepted to several prominent ones - baylor, rice, UT-Austin), and she had to basically be her parents live in maid. Eventually, when my baby girl was 12, she snuck out in the middle of the night, and lived in her car until she found a place to live. But it didnt stop there. Every night at 3am, her parents would try and kick in her door screaming at her for "abusing her daughter" by not letting them abuse her daughter. Eventually she died in a very suspicious accident, and the woman I love was forced to live with her grandparents, the very people her mother never wanted her to see again. She was 14 when this happened.

Fast forward to me meeting her 4 years later.

At first, everything was wonderful. I knew the second I kissed her that she was my soulmate. I visited her at her grandparents trailer more or less every time I could, because she literally was not allowed to leave her trailer without one of the grandparents accompanying her, and they locked her into her room at night. I was the only joy she had in her life, and her grandparents had gaslit her into thinking it was to "protect her", when in reality, the only people she needed protection FROM was her grandparents. For months, everything was fine, until she mentioned that she planned to move in with me in February '17 to her grandparents. Immediately they accused me of "abusing her", "brainwashing her", and stopped letting me come over, but she still was able to talk to me on her phone. This didnt particularly bother me, particularly with what happened next, about a week later. She told her grandparents she would call the police on them if they didnt let her leave. She said that they had no right to hold her against her will. Since then, she hasnt been allowed to touch an electronic device since - going on two months now - and they say they will shoot me if they ever see me. Theyve come by my house to threaten me and my family. One night, about a month ago, my baby girl stole a phone for a few minutes and let me know what has been going on.

She gets a beating every day because she refuses to say that she doesnt love me anymore.

Every night, because they are scared she will leave (as is her right), they inject her with Benydril to sedate her.

They shower her in gifts to try and buy her love, but she continues to reject them, saying that the only thing she wants is me.

One night, after she rejected a $2000 dress, they apparently held her down, and with a pocket knife cut her collar off, and then cut a 3 inch long gash into her arm for "striking her elder" (read: trying to resist being held down and having some psycho wave a knife in her face).

Obviously after hearing all this, I called the police. They sent one of her grandfathers subordinates to investigate him, and (shocker shocker) he decided that nothing amiss was going on, even though she showed him the injection points, the cuts, and told him she is being held against her will. She stole a phone three weeks ago, and told me the result of the police call; they dyed her hair a random color to disguise her, and moved her to Louisiana for a few weeks until it blew over, and gave her a vicious beating for involving the outside world in a "family matter". With a heavy heart, I told her she needed to cooperate with her grandparents until their guard was lowered and she was able to escape. She started crying, because that would mean leaving me. I told her that she just needed to wait them out, because her present situation is impossible to maintain longterm. She told me that I needed to find someone else to satisfy my needs because she wasnt able to. I told her Id try, but she was the love of my life, and that nobody could ever compare to her. And because she asked me to, ive tried, but I dont like the feeling. I felt dirty, treacherous. But for her I will do anything she asks, no matter what it makes me feel like.. She said she was going to be back in Dallas after this weekend.

In short, I dont know what to do. I need advice, and have no idea where to turn to, so if you have any questions go ahead and ask them I guess, because right now my only solace is Johnnie Walker and im hoping this will help me feel better.

[CrystalGoddess]

If this is all true and much worse, you need to make a statement to a higher authority than your state police, such as the federal police or something. You need to tell them everything you know about the entire story, and have them take her into protective custody to get her statements. I don't think you should find someone else 'to satisfy you' if you love her and don't want to just because she says she wants you to, as it is very common for abuse victims to have such low self esteem as to think of their primary purpose as satisfying someone else and she may think that because you can't 'make use of' her you need an outlet, bear in mind she's not had exposure to adults who can control their sadistic/controling/possibly physically intimate - impulses. Therefore she probably doesn't realize that you can be excited without finding someone to go shove it in.
It's REALLY important that you bypass the police her grandfather work for by the sounds of it, corruption is a very real thing. Not saying the feds are necessarily any better, but they won't have allegiance to this monster.

[koba]

it is very common for abuse victims to have such low self esteem as to think of their primary purpose as satisfying someone else and she may think that because you can't 'make use of' her you need an outlet, bear in mind she's not had exposure to adults who can control their sadistic/controling/possibly physically intimate - impulses. Therefore she probably doesn't realize that you can be excited without finding someone to go shove it in.

thats what I assumed was why she told me that, thank you for the reassurance. I genuinely want nobody else. Her grandfather is top dog in Dallas police, but hes friends with literally every cop in the town they live in (Crandall Tx). I dont know who to go to about this.

[JuneStar]

I think there's a reason the other person began their reply to you with the words, "If this is all true..."

I feel like this girl may be trying to take you for a ride, to some degree. Perhaps for things. Perhaps for attention. Perhaps out of boredom. A lot of times these crazy stories are only very slightly true and, in the end, the "abused" party says something like, "Go on without me, I'm not worthy and this isn't working out because of my abusers!" When, in reality, they were just tired of playing the dramatic game they've built up.

Also

Her mother was 15 when she was born; her father was 20. Her grandparents pushed charges on her father, despite the fact it was 100% consensual, and destroyed his life because they didnt approve of a minor age difference.

In the United States law dictates that a 15 year old cannot legally consent to physically intimate intercourse with a man 5+ years their senior. You cannot honestly throw this in here like they are being pieces of "snailpoop" parents because they they worried their child had been forced encountered. This is statutory forced encounters. She was 14/15. She could not have said "yes" and honestly knew what that could've entailed (pregnancy, for example) based on U.S. law. That isn't the grandparents. That's the LAW, Sir.

Stop and read back these statements and tell me if that honestly sounds realistic and truly believable in it's full entirety:

multiple CPS calls to their house (over 20)

Okay, I've had multiple personal experience situations with Child Protective Services. Let me tell you, they aren't going to send people out more than 5 times with nothing changing and letting a case be open. They are pretty thorough with their visits and their questioning of children when parents are not around (they do this often at school so the parents cannot interfere). They are strict people who document every details they come across in a potential neglect or abuse case.

They wouldn't have been dispatched to that house 20 different times and found nothing every single time. They don't do that. That's not how they work. Why are they wasting time coming on the 20th time if supposedly the other 19 times everything was fine? Either everything was not fine (thus, they would've taken the children) or 20 times is a bit of an exaggeration by somebody here.

Also, you can't honestly think child abuse reports were documented over 20 times but always overlooked because someone was a narcotics cop previously, can you? There would have been multiple case workers. Case workers who care about a child's welfare. I know there are corrupt people in powerful positions but...come on...nobody noticed 20+ visits to one home? That's incredibly sad.

...viciously abusive to her mother, her mothers two sisters, and her mothers brother

Yet, nobody has been able to prove any of this and press charges against these supposed abusers? That alone is quite strange--especially since all of those people know that grandparents were supposed abusers yet have custody of a young woman.

Her grandparents kept their children in a cage

Literally? As in, they had large dog cages they kept these people in? How do any of these adults function normally then? Are they all deemed mentally retarded/incapable of self-care? I suppose that would explain my above questioning though.

She wasnt allowed to leave their trailer, ever

Was she honestly doing something she ought not? Seeing boys alone at 15 is, in itself, not the greatest of ideas. I mean, she had a baby at 15. Obviously she was going out and doing things with boys alone for some time before then. 14/15 and pregnant? Yeah, that means she had sex. With a boy. Probably with no adult watching. You know, think about about this...
Later you note people sneaking out at night. Uh, if my child was sneaking out at night and getting pregnant then, yeah, I'm going to be keeping a kind of strict eye on them to make sure they stay out of trouble.

she wasnt allowed to see her daughter unless she followed them. She wasnt allowed to leave their trailer, ever, without one of her parents accompanying her. she wasnt allowed to date, she wasnt allowed to go to college

Even when she turned 18+? Why would an adult woman stay in that situation? Was she mentally ill to some degree? Perhaps schizophrenia? Because a lot of schizophrenic patients report very strange things like this when they are off of their medication for an extended period of time. Also, schizophrenia may be hereditary.

she snuck out in the middle of the night, and lived in her car until she found a place to live.

Oh, gotcha. She was just being uneasy about leaving before. She waited. Okay, that's fine. Plenty of people hesitate.

Also...

lived in her car

Why did she have her own car? These abusive parents purchased a vehicle for the daughter they were abusing and holding hostage? Why? Why would anyone do that? Also, if she wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone, ever, then how did she get the keys to this car of hers anyway? Why would they leave the keys in her possession?

Every night at 3am, her parents would try and kick in her door screaming at her

Wait...every night? At 3:00AM they set their alarm and came to her house to bang and scream at her door? The neighbors did not hear though? Nobody noticed? Again, every single night at 3:00 in the morning? She didn't think to call the police or 911 to have these incidents documented at all?

Also, if she ran away then why in the world did she reveal to them where she moved to? I thought she left them because they were abusive.

everything was fine, until she mentioned that she planned to move in with me

Okay, so, they liked you and everything was fine--you two even found time to have private conversations about moving in together--up until you two became very serious and decided to move in together and she announced it to her grandparents? THEN they disapproved of the relationship. How convenient.

she hasnt been allowed to touch an electronic device since

Okay, okay...but...

about a month ago, my baby girl stole a phone for a few minutes and let me know what has been going on.

How do you steal a mobile device long enough to detail every thing else you're about to explain in a matter of, what I am to assume, a few moments and remove all traces of such contact so well that the original owner of said device has no clue it was touched? If they did discover she was using it then it sounds like they did an awful job at covering that up so well.

Also, if they are literally on her at every waking moment how did she even steal it? Were they both in the bathroom during this time?

She gets a beating every day because she refuses to say that she doesnt love me anymore.

Every day? Every single day? A beating? Because they approach her and say, "Say you don't love that boy any more!" and she says, "No!" and then they beat her? Every single day?

she rejected a $2000 dress

What is her point in rejecting gifts? Is she just trying entice them to hurt her at this point? Is she purposely trying to cause drama and hurt feelings?
Also, who buys a $2,000 for a girl they won't even allow to leave the house?

Every night, because they are scared she will leave (as is her right), they inject her with Benydril to sedate her.

Okay, here is where I was like, "This is such bullshit."

1. Benedryl does not have a "sedating" effect, generally. It makes a person drowsy. It doesn't knock them out cold. They aren't incapacitated against their will. They're just reasonably drowsy.
2. Where are they getting these injection needles (one a night? that must be getting costly for them to keep this up)? They honestly are spending money to inject her with an over the counter allergy medication?
3. How are they holding her down well enough to inject this into her vein? Honestly, it would have to be injected directly into a vein for quick absorption so that the person became drowsy (note: not incapacitated--the medication does not have that effect) reasonably quickly. Otherwise, injecting it under the skin or into a muscle would probably give the same amount of time of absorption as swallowing a dosage.
4. From my own personal experience with myself, my siblings, my parents, and my massive amount of extended family (like cousins I grew up around), the effects of Benedryl (the drowsiness effect) is something that your body adjusts to rather quickly. You need more and more of it to continue feeling that drowsy effect. If I take it for 3 or 4 days in a row, actually, I no longer feel that drowsiness unless I increase the dosage pretty substantially. These people must be buying at least a bottle of Benedryl a day by day 30 to keep her so drowsy she's too tired to leave an incredibly abusive situation.

So, what you're telling me here is that two elderly folks are forceably holding an adult woman down against her will, finding a clear shot of her one of her veins, and giving her injections every single night of increasingly larger and larger dosages of Benedryl so that it will incapacitate her, even though that's not what the medication can actually do.

they apparently held her down, and with a pocket knife cut her collar off, and then cut a 3 inch long gash into her arm

Right. So, she has gotten beatings, thus multiple bruises, and now very large cuts and injection marks on her. She doesn't leave the house though, right? I mean, otherwise surely someone would see these as evidence.

Also, a 3" gash didn't require stitches to keep it closed up? Was it not deep at all?

I called the police.

Why you waited until this very moment, I have no idea. They supposedly showed up at your home screaming craziness previously but that was no reason to call the police and have that documented up until this point.

decided that nothing amiss was going on, even though she showed him the injection points, the cuts, and told him she is being held against her will.

I don't care if he was a subordinate. He had to document he was going out to their home over domestic violence. They rarely go out as a single, one-man situation--so, the documentation alone to that would be strange, and it'd have to be documented in some way to account for the officer's time on the clock.
And you're saying that a man cares more about his job versus a woman who has severe bruising from beatings, 30+ injection marks in which she is claiming were against her will and not based on medical need, and at least 1 large gash down her arm.

...but, of course, all cops must be corrupt douchebags who care more about their job than a woman they are literally witnessing being beaten?

I mean, yes, some corruption does happen, but this is pretty extreme in itself. Now we're tying in authorities completely neglecting all officer duties to help cover up someone being so obviously abused.

She stole a phone three weeks ago

Again? They both went to the bathroom again at the same time? And she was able to cover up the next communication with you? Again?

they dyed her hair a random color to disguise her, and moved her

Have you ever had your hair dyed? It almost always looks obvious (not often natural-looking) if you do it at all and not professionally. Also, it's a pretty long process that a person would need to willingly sit still through it all.

Oh, and, uh, dying hair is so outdated in the whole "disguise a person's identity" situation. That is something in the movies. Facial features, body structure, voice, etc. are all the same. It doesn't disguise a person at all. We've become smarter at identifying people and so have our computer technologies.

Have you ever seen a woman who has dyed her hair from, say, brown to blonde? Perhaps a coworker or a classmate? Did you think, when you saw her with the newly dyed hair, "Oh! A new girl around here! Gee, I've never met her before at all!"? Doubtful...

Also, if she's having these terrible beatings in the summertime then I can only assume she has multiple visible marks on her body. Dying someone's hair would be done because that person is being taken out in public situations. So, what are they doing about the marks on her body from these beatings that don't cause people to question them? I mean, a person can't really go around in a sweatshirt and long pants in the summertime and not be looked at strangely for that.

moved her to Louisiana for a few weeks

Wait, so they have other family members in on this to help disguise and hide their abuse of this young lady? Who? Their own children who they supposedly abused too? Or do they just own another random home in another state?

and gave her a vicious beating

Those vicious, vicious beatings that remarkably leave no noticeable marks, I'll tell you.

She told me that I needed to find someone else to satisfy my needs because she wasnt able

...annnnd, there we are! We are to the point where it sounds like the game may be getting dull and boring.

Let's be honest here. She's an adult woman against two elderly people and you're telling me she won't just leave the house, run down the road, and live homelessly (via a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter--both of which would easily accept her in) for a couple of weeks while she figures out her life and finds a safe place to stay?

I say you need to move on from this girl. I know you won't. I know you believe this twisted tale. I know you think you're going to be her knight in shining armor. I'm pretty sad to know that, but, in a few years, I hope you'll be able to look back at this and say, "Yeah, this one time this girl catfished me so crazily!"

[Motherly]

Personally, I would suggest you advise her to call 9-1-1 the next time she contacts you since it sounds like she's been able to do so twice at this point, and has had enough time to text you the full details of what has occurred. Next time I'd suggest just a quick, immediate reply that clearly states something like, "Don't contact me right now. Call 9-1-1 immediately. Now. We can talk when you are safe. Call 9 1 1."

I can only assume that if enough 9-1-1 calls are documented then it's bound to gain somebody's attention.

[deerest]

I think this girl is feeding you a tall tale, and I'm sorry about that. Maybe she enjoys the attention, maybe she doesn't want to move in with you or date you but is one of those people who can't just say so...either way, I think you need to move on. I also agree with the advice telling her to call 911, and, if you really believe this story, contact the FBI or some higher authority. It can't hurt to have everything thoroughly checked out.


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