Porcelain doll

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littleari
Posts: 3
Joined: 9 months ago
Role: Little girl

Porcelain doll

Postby littleari » 9 months ago

I'm sorry if you read this. I just don't know where else to let this out. I'm crumbling. I don't know where to go what to say. I feel lost and like everything I say to everyone is wrong. I've always known I was like broken porcelain doll then anything else. I've always regressed, for a while after finding out that it was ok, I embraced it completely, and learned to love that part of me.
I started dating, taking big risks with my life (I flew from Vegas, to NY for the chance of happiness). I take risks with my safety over and over again. I let it get to me everytime I trusted someone completely, who claimed to be a good daddy/mommy/friend. Almost every time I was left to pick up the pieces. Why am I doing this to myself? I'm letting my health slip, I hardly sleep, and am letting myself fall back into binge eating, I snap at everyone cry at the drop of a hat.
All because all I do anymore is talk or search for people to accept me. I just don't know I think maybe this is part of me that should stay hidden from the world at least for now. I think maybe I need to stop searching for someone that may never find me. I think I need to learn to be someone who needs no one. And doesn't fall apart so easy.

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theimpossiblegirl
Posts: 13
Joined: 9 months ago
Role: Little girl

Re: Porcelain doll

Postby theimpossiblegirl » 9 months ago

Hello, beautiful.
I hope today's a better day. I hope life is kind to you today. A few months ago, I was in that ugly place where you are now. I know, I know we do crazy things, we risk our lives. And people betray us, the people who promised to stay, but left, and I know it feels like it'll always be like that, but there are people out there who will stand by you, and maybe you have them by you right now. They could be in the most unlikely of places, but they might be there. There are so many supportive people on here. And maybe you shouldn't enter a serious relationship just quite yet. Its like when you have broken bones, and you keep going without giving yourself time to heal. You need time for yourself. Care for yourself, and patch up your wounds. Meet some people, take care of yourself. Rise from the ashes. If you work to rebuild yourself, people can't keep their eyes away from shining gold. And you'll shine like a star, people will notice when you seem radiant, and beautiful as the sun. I know it seems like it isn't a passing phase, but everything comes to an end. Please don't give up. Keep moving, and have hope.
☾ What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of death or destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. ☽


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