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The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

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Ami
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Re: The last 4 daddies I have met make me want to quit

Postby Ami » 7 months ago

Let me just say firstly, I am sorry for your experiences, I truly am.

I come from a background of D/s and it is exactly the same. There are a whole lotta self professed doms out there that have no idea. Many of them are sensual sadists or abusers who think they can slap the dominant label on and get what they want. Just doesn't work like that.
There are also a lot out there that are simply inexperienced, they don't follow safewords, they don't know about aftercare or the drop... frankly, they are dangerous and cause subs a whole world of pain.
I have rescued multiple subs from toxic dynamics or relationships. It takes months for them to recover.

There are also subs out there that have no clue what they want or worse, what they need. An experienced dominant or caregiver may well already have a good idea if they know them, they may have a feel to what the sub or little needs, but the sub should know what they need. They should be able to articulate this and the dominant should listen.

There are all too many abusers out there and this is exactly why CG's and littles alike need to take time to find the right one.. there's no rush. I know you feel the need, but just remember, the damage from a bad relationship goes on.. you are better spending months waiting than years recovering. Some don't recover, for some their trust has been burned so badly they can't ever be little again with another.

Power exchange relationships are 50:50, the CG and little both need to look after each other. If your needs are not being met, there's a problem. This kind of thing should be talked about well before any promises are made or a "pairing" occurs.

Littles: Most of you are vulnerable in one way or another and you seriously need to take your time to ensure that the dominant or caregiver is the one for you and experienced enough to be able to care for you properly. You don't offer the keys to your heart without at least knowing who you are giving them to. You should look them up... Are they experienced? Do they have a history and if so, what is it? Do they do anything which has your friends worried about you? Do any of their behaviours set off the proverbial alarm bells? Are they truly caring for you, or demanding you satisfy them? Do they listen when you speak up or do they tell you to be quiet? Do they look after you?
Be aware, be safe.

Caregivers: You have a responsibility to the little. If you are not educated in the care of someone in this situation and dynamic, then you are dangerous. They are reaching out and they are in need, if you are all take, all about yourself then you should leave. Caregiving is just that, it is not all about you.
Many of them have been hurt deeply in their lives and they may or may not have someone to talk to, this could be voluntary, or involuntary age regression therapy. Just think about the amount of damage you could do it you treat them as your personal toy and don't care for their own needs. You may even do exactly what a previous abuser did to them.
If you think that you will be worshipped, that it is all about your little doing everything for you and dedicating their life to your happiness and you don't have to do a thing, then I am sorry but you are not a caregiver, you are a user.

Everyone: There's a lot of newbies on here that are just beginning to explore the CG/l dynamic. You need to educate yourselves. There's classes available online, there's groups in major cities, there's people out there that are willing to help. There's a seemingly endless amount of information you can read on BDSM and much of it applies, if you do not know the basics, you're dangerous. You're either going to hurt, or get hurt.

Please, I implore every single one of you to spend some time every week researching and reading about power exchange relationships, BDSM and the like. No matter how experienced you are, there is always something new to learn.

Hurting in the name of love is one of the most hope destroying and destructive things you can do to a person.

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whitinnl
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby whitinnl » 3 months ago

Seeing this sort of personal story really makes me think myself. I've been hurt left and right and feel that greater trust had been broken for everyone to follow too.

I'm new to this community and as a DD/CG,I can't help but wonder if this is the uphill battle I'll have to fight while looking for someone that understands my mind in needing a LG.

Please stay positive for your own sake, and I'll do the same.

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NotLittleLittle-Nate
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby NotLittleLittle-Nate » 3 months ago

I feel the same often I haven't even gotten any replies on my looking for a caregiver page


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Butterfly18
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby Butterfly18 » 3 months ago

Grrrrrr that did make me mad. Because I thought here there was respect! Im so sorry that happened to you

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LittleAnelaBell
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby LittleAnelaBell » 3 months ago

Oh noooo I'm sorry **HUGS**


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Punkys_Daddy
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby Punkys_Daddy » 2 months ago

Littleicewitch

Unfortunately, many do not understand the complicity and responsibilities of the Daddy/little relationship much less any other alt lifestyle relationship.
Too many, " Dom " means "I say, you do" and I think many try to latch on to any type of D/s relationship they can for their own "purpose".
Your "Daddy" is out there. It may take time and a lot of "sorting through" to find the right one. I would suggest outlining exactly what you would like in a Daddy and referring to it when you first start conversing with someone. Daddy Dom should always include, guidance, love, respect, discipline...and much more. SO much more than "I say, you do".

LittleTigresa
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby LittleTigresa » 1 month ago

I'm sorry :stuffie: you have to wait for the right daddy to find you sometimes and when he comes you will just know he's the one....he will show you all the magic that has been locked away inside of you :splode: hugs for you to make you feel better and sharing my cookies with you :share:

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3dDomDD
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby 3dDomDD » 4 weeks ago

Can I ask over what period of time you e had six Daddy's. I just did a post under the "Vanishing Daddies" thread. It strikes me there's a very fast turnover in BDSM and DDlg relationships. (I'm fairly new to this as a DD). It doesn't strike me as good. These relationships are far too intense to keep falling apart. There must be a lot of hurt lgs out there (and subs etc). I think this needs to be addressed properly so people know how to make relationships last.


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Donutprincess
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Re: The last 4 daddy doms I have met make me want to quit

Postby Donutprincess » 2 weeks ago

My daddy never asked me about my princess parts. Ever. Not until we were together. Then they were his anyways. You also have to understand the different levels to this kink. Not everyone plays the same way or has the same understanding. I've only had one daddy and he's my only. I don't know if he just trained his princess right or it just worked. But not all daddy's are bad.



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