- 3 years ago
#54734
Talk to your partner, very clearly providing examples of what you’d like to experience, and try to be understanding about his position too. Remember that just because you want something doesn’t mean your partner does so you will have to work to find what is mutually fulfilling. You have to keep the lines of communication open to be able to work together.
Please be aware that being a Caregiver does not necessarily mean the person is dominant, sadistic, or involved in BeDeeSeM. These things are actually separate and it’s important to realize that. CGL is not inherently BeDeeSeM and does not by itself involve domination or submission. While there are many people within the CGL community who also are members of the BeDeeSeM community these groups are separate and based on the individuals involved.
CGL is personality-based. Dom/sub or person who enjoys causing another pain or humiliation/person who enjoys something that appears to be painful, tedious, or humiliating is a part of physically intimate experience preference and is not a personality identifier at its root.
CGL does not directly pertain to physically intimate experience, drive, motivation, or desire. While regression may be involved in one’s sexuality, it is not the center focus of the “little” identity. While a Caregiver may also be a Dom in the BeDeeSeM community these things don’t necessarily go hand in hand for all.
You may want to encourage your partner to explore “dark ageplay” roleplay within a sexually-based BeDeeSeM community that’s specifically targeted for kinks and adult interests with you.
Explore together. Join online groups for BeDeeSeM together. Read stimulating material together for more sexually driven desires. Talk about your physically intimate and nonsexual fantasies and try to point out parts you like about your partner’s interests. Try to find scene ideas that you both can enjoy without it being too heavily one-sided. Relationships are give and take, including the physically intimate components.
It may also help you to privately encourage yourself to view your partner’s actions and words as having an underlying, dominating tone. Even though this may be partially fantasy for you it may help to find your partner’s general demeanor more desirable. You don’t have to verbally say that you’ve taken something he’s said or done as being more dominant, but you can train yourself to feel a certain way about him.
Best of luck!
You can also contact me at littlespaceonline @ gmail.com if you can't reach me here!