[PorgWitch]

So I'm finally comfortable identifying myself as a Little. I've looked at so many resources, looked inward and it just feels right. I am a Little . My Daddy is absolutely on board with adding it to our dynamic.
My question is for those of you who have been in this lifestyle for a while, how did you establish that kind of dynamic/identity? Like are there some FAQs you ask yourself as a Little like "what is littlespace for you?" or "what do you need when this happens?"
If anyone is comfortable answering this it would help me a lot going forward.

[Elvie]

I've never had or been a caretaker so I can't speak when it comes to establishing a relationship dynamic in that respect. But now would definitely be the time for you both to deeply reflect on what you both want from this dynamic and also the things you DO NOT want from it. Make sure you're on the same page instead of either of you assuming that the other will just magically know what they want or automatically want the same things.

For me, I've always kind of known this about myself my whole life, so it was less a matter of sitting down and planning it out, more just being aware of how certain things make me feel so I could replicate that feeling for myself when I wanted it, if that makes sense? So I would first say just try everything (within reason)! Even things you might think aren't for you! If you're curious about something, give it a shot. (Obviously this has its limits; nothing that could harm you or anyone else, be financially responsible, make sure you're not neglecting responsibilities, etc.) You probably know your "big" self fairly well at this point, so that'll give you a bunch of clues (for example, I definitely don't need to try fingerpainting again as an adult to know it's not for me because I can't stand being messy), and so might remembering what you liked when you were a kid (food in particular is a strong trigger for those feelings for me for whatever reason). What things make you feel calm, what things make you feel safe, what things make you feel like you can ignore the normal stressful things and just have fun for a minute? If you already have answers, great, go from there! If you don't know yet, you can just try things and see what you like. It's okay to decide things aren't for you, even if they're popular. Say you try using a bottle and it's not for you for some reason. There's no need to keep doing it just because other people like it, or because you already spent money on it, or because you feel like it's something a little "should" do. Focus on you and your feelings. (Again though your partner's comfort levels with things do need to be discussed; make sure you establish that if either of you is uncomfortable with something the other does, it's something that can and should be addressed as soon as possible instead of ignoring it and hoping it stops.)

You don't really need to worry about defining things specifically unless that's something you want to do personally. It's okay if you can't really explain what you do or why you like it; you don't need to make a case for it to anyone but yourself!

[LittleEss]

I can’t say that I’ve been in this lifestyle “for a while”, but I hope I can contribute anyway.
I would say that when you have a partner it’s very important to go forward together, meaning you have to talk a lot.
Me and my wife often talk in unfinished thoughts. We both know that the things we say when we talk like this are not thought through or even how we actually feel. It’s like talking on a whim and saying the things that first pop into your mind. This helps us to check in with each other, get to know what’s moving in the others mind and feeling the waters. Saying things that normally wouldn’t leave the head makes it easier to make decisions. You get to hear your own thoughts and you get someone’s honest, immediate reaction to it.
Through these talks we found out that our cgl dynamic is strictly non-physically intimate (for several reasons) and she doesn’t want to see me using pacifiers, sucking my thumb, wearing diapers or eating bottles (for the same reasons). She knows that I use pacifiers but I respect her and doesn’t use them when she’s around. Both she and I hate that I’m hiding things from her, but that’s the way right now.
Our talks being what it is I’m also aware that her and mine feelings on these matters might, and probably will, change over time. Because people change and grow.
Also talk about what you want to get/feel/achieve by being little/caregiver.
For me it’s about being able to focus fully on the thing/person in front of me without my big self interrupting me. It’s also about being praised for things I find hard, even if it’s something a “normal “ person should be able to do, or something big me does on a regular basis. and it’s about physical contact. My wife doesn’t want anything from the dynamic, she just wants me as her husband but are happy to provide the things I need.
All together for us this means that she needs to take care of the house, kid and food if I need a longer time being little. I need her close, so she calls every lunch and stay close and keep touching me more often when I’m kitty. Cuddles are a must!